The World According to Christa

Out of the Mouth of a 4-year old...

2008-09-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

Just have to tell you all something hilarious that Lora said yesterday....well, Mark and I thought it was hilarious....Will had an early dismissal yesterday and Lora has school in the afternoon so I was telling Will that when I pick him up, it will just be he and I for the afternoon. He immediately goes "Woo Hoo! No Lora!!!" To which his sister responds, with great emotion..."Will, If a PERSON cares about another PERSON, they should not, NOT miss that person when they are not there!" It was hilarious, and also I moot point because Lora ended up not feeling well and they played together all afternoon....

Back in the Saddle Again...

2008-09-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

So, we are back in the swing of school, work, life since the ending of Summer....In some ways, I actually enjoy Fall better than Summer. I know, I'm crazy, but I enjoy the cooling off of the weather (although this week has been beautiful in Seattle), I am a person who functions better with a forced schedule - sadly. I am not really good at making up a full fun-packed schedule on my own so during the summer we end up in our pj's until noon, cartoons, books, playing in the backyard, etc...which, I'm convinced, is why Will has not wanted to get back into the swing of school...Too much fun and doing whatever.

Tomorrow we have Lora's class visit to her new Preschool and then tomorrow night is a parent's meeting. She starts back on Monday. It will be interesting to see what life will feel like with one in school all day and the other in for 4 day a week 1/2 days...With upping my hours and Mosaic and hopefully volunteering at Will's school, I don't think I'll have that many "extra" hours but we'll see.

We have a new addition to our home...Will and Mark were given a combined birthday present of a Wii game system, which has been a lot of fun (another reason not to want to go to school...) I totally rock at bowling and golf - my papa would be so proud of the golfer I am becoming...of course, I know it doesn't REALLY count since I don't even have to watch the ball or anything, but I enjoy it! Now we just need Dance Dance Revolution, Rock Band, Wii Fit.....

Chhh...changes...

2008-08-28T11:39:00.000-07:00

I just found out last night that the Spanish teacher and Assistant teacher that Will had last year (K) and was supposed to have this year (we are on a looping program so you have the same teachers for 2 years)...we LOVED both of them...the teacher is moving to 2/3 and the assistant is aparently gone...anyway, he will have different teachers for 1st grade, at least in Spanish..I was so sad because as I mentioned, we loved them! Anyway,I very carefully talked to Will and explained to him that he would be having a different teacher, etc and that Srta. Karin would be gone also...and he just looked at me and said "okay"...I yelled up to Mark, "Our son has absolutely no feelings at all, we are raising a robot"...which, of course isn't true, but I wanted some sign of emotion over this news that I was heartsick about...

Maybe he is smart enough to realize that he will have Srta Maria back in 2/3? Maybe he just instinctively knows it will be alright now matter what? Maybe, thankfully, he's not as neurotic as me? Should I just count my blessings that he's not overly emotional, well, unless he loses at Nintendo...Kids are funny, I think I could learn something from him...

For...or...Against?

2008-08-26T23:11:00.000-07:00

I have a question that has been bothering me for awhile...its a serious question and I'm not trying to spark a huge political debate. But, is it possible to be "for" your candidate but not "against" the other? I am supporting one candidate for president, but I don't feel like that makes me automatically "against" the other. I admire the other candidate, I do not want the demise of the other candidate, I am not sending mass e-mails that lie about the other candidate...I have been incredibly surprised during this election, and its not over, at some of the things that I have read and seen. I have friends on Facebook who have pictures of a certain candidate on their "flair" board with a big red "X" through his face, people have joined groups called "Down with.......in 08". It has honestly surprised me. I don't know if this is the normal level of hostility and this is just the first election where I've really been aware of what goes on? Is it because of the amount of media coverage which is completely out of control?

I really want to know what people think...what is up this year? I hope the answer is not that we are all racist...but I fear that that may be part of it...I used to be part of a discussion site and someone admitted on there that he felt like America really had to get used to the idea of a non-white person as president and that is why everyone is being so hard on him...that scared me a little. I realize that we all have policy differences, but I'm asking more about the mean, hateful, untruthful things that are going around and wondering if this is normal? Can anyone tell me???

Connecting...

2008-07-06T22:58:00.000-07:00

I joined Facebook awhile back...its been fun because through it I've reconnected with a lot of different people from different parts of my life. I've talked with high school friends, college friends, even someone I worked with ten or so years ago. Its fun...its nice to catch up, see pictures of kids grown up, friends who look the same with maybe a few extra pounds (in my case) or some new wrinkles...some look exactly the same - I hate those people...

Its all relatively "surface" though...you are unable to have a really deep conversation - there is no sitting across from each other over a cup of coffee to really look into each other eyes and see how the years have really changed us all. Its funny because one of my reconnections actually asked me if I wanted to meet for coffee and it made me a little nervous - to go deeper with a person, to really meet face to face - extra fat and all - is a little scary...I'm not good at keeping in contact with people once our paths go in different directions - even people in my own family, just ask my brother...

Its funny because through Facebook and then talking with classmates about our 20 year High School reunion coming up this year, it has made me think about other people that I've lost contact with...Charisse, Jill, Jason, David, Jon, Heidi, Lisa...the list goes on. I decide to search for them on Facebook to see if we can reconnect - I tell myself, "I need to be a better friend and sister"...but then life gets busy and the weeks pass...maybe I should go call my brother...

Goodbye Kindergarten...

2008-06-16T23:42:00.000-07:00

I added these photos from graduation this morning...it was really fun! Each kid had to come up an say their name and one of their favorite things about school - in Spanish. Will said that he likes writing, which is cool...the beautiful ladies in the first picture are his Spanish teachers, they are incredible!

I should be in bed asleep...Mark and I were both up most of the night last night with Lora coughing and tonight, thanks to children's Claritin, she is sleeping peacefully...but I'm up. I've been reading through old blog posts and realizing how long its been since I posted anything...

I just read through my post on Will's first day in Kindergarten...it was interesting to read it tonight, the night before his Kindergarten graduation. Mark was talking to me tonight about how grown up 1st grade sounds - it sounds so much older than Kindergarten for some reason...I'm so happy and proud about the year that Will has had...he has learned so much, made so many friends, grown so in both height and maturity...he really is a great kid. He's funny and smart and has a tender heart - most of the time...

His school is one of the pilot schools for the Seeds of Compassion curriculum which is the program that the Dali Lama and Desmond Tutu helped to write - so they have been talking a lot about Empathy and Compassion at school. Will loves to give lectures to us about many things - we've heard everything you would ever want to hear about foxes, Green Bags, Life Alert Systems, Earth Day and now Empathy. So a while back, he was going on and on to Mark about how we need to be empathetic and compassionate to others (if you know Will, he was doing his usual pacing back and forth while talking)...so the conversation went like this...

Will: We need to be empathetic to others, we need to have compassion (or something like that, pacing back and forth)...
Mark: Well Will, you're right. In fact, we are followers of Christ and so we try to do the things that Christ told us to do. Jesus said that if you have two coats and you go outside and see someone who doesn't have a coat and they're cold..Do you know what you're supposed to do that would be compassionate?
Lora: (Who pipes up with the Sunday School answer) I think you give them one of your coats...
Will: I think you say to them "You should go inside, its cold out here!"

So he hasn't learned it all yet...but it was funny because Mark and my 10th anniversary was a couple of weeks ago and we have this tradition of watching our wedding video together and this year we decided to make the kids watch it with us...Lora lasted about 5 minutes and was bored but Will was riveted to the screen. We got to the part where Mark and I are on the platform holding hands, staring at each other while a song is being sung in the background...I look over at Will and he is literally fighting back tears so I say, "Honey are you okay?" to which he responds "Don't look at me! Don't look at me!" and then, "Its just so beautiful, I think I'm crying." It was so sweet and one of those moments I don't want to forget - believe me there are many moments of fighting and yelling, that cause me to need to recall this memory...

But, he is growing up and he is becoming a great person who I enjoy hanging out with. He's reading (he read "Are you my Mother?" all by himself the other night)...he's doing math...he's watching shows that aren't cartoons (we watched "The Naked Brothers Band" together the other night and he said "Mommy, we have this in common, we both like this show")...he can quote whole commercials that he has seen...he has friends that he cares about...he loves his sister and doesn't yell at her when she stands in front of the TV so she can see it...he's in that great space where he's getting more self sufficient but still wants to cuddle, still likes kisses (sometimes) and still tells me he loves me...

So tomorrow, we say "Goodbye" to Kindergarten and "Hello" to 1st grade...after a long summer of me trying to think of ways to occupy two busy childrent....but I think he's ready for it...

Funky Funky Funk Funk....

2008-05-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

Please note, that is an "n" in the word above...and if you don't have kids under the age of 5 or cable TV (Jen), you may not have caught the "Yo Gabba Gabba" reference...if you don't get the reference, consider yourself lucky - it is about the most annoying show ever created...but I digress...

I've been in a kind of funk this week, not sure why...Mark tried to analyze it for me yesterday and everything he came up with didn't seem like "the" reason. I do this every once in awhile - not enough that I think merits medication or intense counseling or anything - just a funk...The main signs are that my house is a little dirtier, I'm a little less patient with my kids & husband, I cry more easily, I'm not eating as well...I was just thinking that its four years ago right around this time of year that we got Lora's diagnosis - maybe I have Spring Depression now because of that...who knows.

But, something that raised my spirits today...Mark dropped Lora and Will off at school this morning and I opened at Mosaic. When he came here to work with me, he had Lora's first school picture. Its funny because I've been a little nervous about getting it. When you have a non-perfect child (not that anyone has a perfect one...) things like pictures are hard. I forget about her issues a lot of times but a picture of her eyes brings it all back. This morning however, I was presented with a picture of a beautiful little girl with two eyes looking straight at the camera! (Granted, the right one is a little bit crossed, but barely noticable). She looks so cute in her bright pink glasses and little bobbed hair! She's such a joy (both of my kids are...I need to write a post about foxes, because Will has been lecturing me about them recently, that and Compassion/Empathy...) and she's doing so well. Mark said that this morning in the car she said to him, "Daddy, someday you're going to hear me on the radio. I don't know what I'll be singing, but someday you'll turn on the radio and there I'll be!" If that doesn't get a person out of a funk, I don't know what will....

Happy Mother's Day to me...

2008-05-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

My kids (read Mark) got me the best Mother's Day presents and they insisted that I open them tonight...They got me some great gardening tools for the vegetable garden we're growing....they got me "Lars and the Real Girl" and "Juno" (two of the best movies out right now)....AND the DVD's for the WHOLE SERIES of GILMORE GIRLS!!!

I love the Gilmore Girls! I am completely enamored with the Gilmore Girls! I rented the first five seasons on Netflix a couple of years ago and stayed up late every night watching them...there is something about the relationships, quick banter and plethora of pop culture references that just gets me...I've been wanting to own the series since the show ended this last year and so my sweet husband bought them for me...and then, he even watched 4 whole episodes with me...I am now on episode 6 - he's in bed...Did I mention that I love the Gilmore Girls???

Bring Me Your Plastic Bags...

2008-04-23T19:53:00.000-07:00

So, in honor of Earth Day yesterday, I made a tote bag...a couple of months ago, at the doctor's office, I saw a lady knitting an interesting project...so, being a knitter, I asked her about it. She was knitting with strips of plastic made from her plastic grocery bags. So, I looked up a pattern on-line. I decided that, for some reason, crocheting with plastic seemed easier than knitting so I picked a crochet pattern and made a bag. The picture I've posted is not the one I made, its another pattern I found today that I like even better and will try to make next, but it gives you an idea...I was amazed by how strong the bag is, it would make a great Farmer's Market bag or grocery bag.

So, this is a plea for you to bring me your bags...I would love to make a reusable bag for you, if you want one....or I was thinking I could try to sell them on Etsy and give all the money to Kiva or something like that....I also think it would be fun to do a class at Mosaic on how to make your own...anyway DON'T throw away any more plastic bags, give them to me!!!

As Will said to me today "Mommy every day should be Earth Day!"

These are My People...

2008-04-13T23:40:00.000-07:00

I haven’t blogged in awhile. Maybe I have writer’s block, which is weird since I’m not really a writer… I’ve actually been mulling some things over for the past couple of weeks. It all started when we went to the district meeting for our denomination a couple of weeks ago. I used to really enjoy these kind of meetings – for some weird reason – its kind of like a mini-family reunion where you get to see everyone… from the boy you dated in college, to the friend you went to both Summer youth camp and later college with, to the uncle you never get to see (in my case, its my real uncle – not a fake uncle if we were sticking with the “family reunion” metaphor). And I did see people that fit all three of those descriptions…

A couple of years ago, I found myself liking these meeting less and less…I still really like the people I get to see, at least most of them…but as I’ve gotten older and deeper into this thing we call “ministry” I find myself getting more cynical and less Christ-like in these types of situations. I have to watch myself and what I say and how I act because I get frustrated – I mourn the fact that it SEEMS like even in our churches we are still holding up the empire to the detriment of the Kingdom. There is so much focus on numbers – mainly numbers of converts – that someone, like me, from a smallish church can come away feeling discouraged instead of encouraged.

There are a few people that I really resonate with – like my friends from Church of the Undignified in Capitol Hill – but most, I have to be honest…I kept thinking to myself, “These are not my people”…I don’t feel like I “fit” there anymore. To be completely open, I came away feeling pretty tired and frustrated…

We came home and after a break to recover, we went back to our routine on Monday. On Tuesday morning, I was back in Mosaic making Lattes and chatting with moms, business people, Tammy, the “usuals”…by Wednesday night, I was back in the swing of things. A lot of our regulars came in, S, C, D, K & S and their kids….I was sitting at a table talking with K, a young mother and UW student (she is super-smart, studying some sort of medical research that I will never understand) – but she’s also just a normal person, a mom, a wife – I don’t think she would identify herself as a Follower of Christ…but it hit me as we were talking about the bags I make and looking at etsy online…”THESE are my people”…my people are here, in this little corner of Seattle that I call home…They are a diverse group of funny, caring, crazy, imperfect, broken, annoying, wonderful people that I have been called to love and maybe even have the privilege of sharing with them the Jesus that I know. The One who loves them more than I could ever begin to – that wants them to have a full, wonderful life in His Kingdom both here on earth and after…

I love my heritage…both my Wesleyan roots and more specifically the denomination that I was raised in. It was started on the streets, for the down-and-outers. I have a rich history of pastors and theologians and evangelists in my family that I am proud of…but I am also happy to know that my grandparents who are already gone would have “gotten” what we’re doing here in Wallinford…and the parents who raised me “get it”. They introduced me to what it looks like to be “A New Kind of Christian”…long before there was a book of that title…

But back to that family reunion metaphor…I think we all have those people in our families that we only see at reunion times…that we talk to sort of awkwardly – we may not understand what they are talking about and they very definitely don’t understand what we’re saying…but, they are family and we love them…we’re just really glad that reunions only come once a year…or so…

PS - Speaking of His Kingdom, the earth, A New Kind of Christian, etc…I was privileged to attend Brian McLaren’s “Everything Must Change” conference this weekend with RLG and her kid sister…it was incredible and challenging and scary and exciting…more on that later….

It Is Finished...

2008-03-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

So you would think that on this Holy Good Friday, the above title would be in reference to our Lord's death, but no....

Lora is fully potty trained!!! Yeah! I am so excited, she's doing so well and has not had one accident for a week....she even seems almost ready to wear panties for bed too, she's been dry every morning. So, I am really excited to have that task overwith and happy that even though I waited for awhile... she's done.

Not trying to be sacreligious or anything, just excited about the progress!

A First...

2008-03-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

So, with the downfall of Elliot Spitzer, the govenor of New York, who recently got caught in the prostitution scandel...there is a first in that state - actually two firsts. His lieutenant governor - so now the new governor of New York is the first black governor that state has ever had, which is a great thing. More interesting to me, however, is that he is also the first Legally Blind governor, I think ever in the US. I can't find that stat for sure, but I think he's the first.

An infection as a young child left him totally blind in his left eye and almost completely blind in his right. Which is basically the amount of sight that Lora seems to have only in the opposite eyes. I just find it inspiring to see someone with his challenges not only become the first blind Lieutenant Governor...but now governor of New York. I read an article about him talking about his ability to make speeches that contain numerous historical facts, statistics and details - without being able to read a tele-promptor. Very cool for someone with a blind child to see the success of other people with vision issues. Sadly, I hadn't heard about him before this recent scandel, but I'm glad that has brought him to my attention. I plan on following his progress as he takes over the governing of New York....

Princess Party

2008-03-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

I promised that I would write a more glowing post about Lora and her birthday...here's a from her Princess party (I tried to load more, but Blogger was having problems). It was a lot of fun, she was darling...as always and had a great time with all of her "adult" friends. I asked her over and over if she wanted to invite her friends from school to which she always answered "no"...I consulted her teachers to find out if I needed to push her to invite her friends since social seems to be the only area that she's a little behind developmentally and they all told me to just count my blessings. So I asked her again the other day if she was SURE she didn't want any of her school friends to come to her party and she said "Okay, you can invite some of my friends, but only my invisible friends". So that is the reason there were only adults and older kids at her party, but she loved it....

Last week, Mark preached about Jesus healing the blind man in John 9. There was a readers theatre version of the passage shared and the opening went something like this (as I remember it)..."Jesus was asked by his disciples 'whose fault is it that this man was born blind, was it his sin or the sin of his parents' and Jesus answered 'it is no one's sin that caused this to happen, but through this, God's glory will be shown in this man's life'"...I had trouble the whole morning keeping my composure - in fact, I was supposed to sing a song that was all about the blind man being healed, etc...I say "supposed to sing" because I really hardly made it through the song...I cried all through Mark's sermon. I tried to analyze the reason for my tears and I really don't think, at this point, that it is sadness that hits me every once in awhile. Its emotion that isn't always happiness or joy at her situation - maybe just being overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed by how well she's doing...at the person that she is already becoming, in spite of the challenges that she's been handed...I'm overwhelmed by the way that God's glory is already being shown in her life, in spite of her issues...She is a joy, no matter how strong-willed she is, she is brilliant, she is funny, she is beautiful and as she told us not long ago - I think she sees exactly what she is supposed to see....

Happy Birthday....to the most stubborn little girl in the world...

2008-03-08T16:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, today is Lora's 4th birthday...normally, on my kid's birthdays, I blog in some sentimental way about the day they were born, how my life changed forever the moment I looked into their eyes...which is true. But, today I am thinking more about Lora's stubornness.

Through no fault of her own, Lora is not potty trained yet. Yes, I know, she is four today and not potty trained. Honestly, I've been avoiding it, not because of some deep seeded need to keep her a baby...simply because I've tried a couple of times and she simply refuses to potty on the potty and I do believe she is the most stubborn child I have ever met. So, throughout the last year I've tried a couple of times and lost heart thinking maybe she's just not ready, maybe we've finally found the area in which she is developmentally behind....Anyway, a couple of days ago, Mark and I just decided that its time and that during the day, she will not wear pull-ups. The crazy thing is that outside of our home, she has had no accidents. She made it through two days of school completely dry but, at home, its a different story. She peed one time on the potty yesterday and had one accident. Then, this morning, she woke up dry...I put her on the potty - nothing...we started pumping liquids into her and I sat in the bathroom with her for a total of 3.2 hours (give or take a little) and NOTHING. We had begging, we had tears (from me and her), we had bargaining, we had threatening, we had tag teaming between both Mark and I because I needed a break...and no pottying on the potty...but lots of peeing in her pants...its been the most frustrating day...she simply doesn't want to potty on the potty so she won't....I don't think she can spend the rest of her life on the toilet, but I'm determined to make her sit there until she's done it. I am going to win this battle - I really didn't think there was another human being more strong willed than me, but I've met her. She's drinking a can of Diet Coke right now, so its only a matter of time until we're back in the bathroom fighting it out...

Tomorrow I'll post pictures of her in her Belle dress at her princess party....I'll talk about the day she was born in loving sentances, describing how much I love her - because I do...but today, she's driving me crazy....Even if she did just crack me up, watching Barbie Mariposa when she said, about the fairy prince, "I could really fall in love with that guy if I was a butterfly fairy."

Regrets

2008-02-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

Our neighbor across the street, Elizabeth, passed away this week. When, exactly, we aren't sure. She lived alone and didn't have any relatives to speak of and she died sometime between Monday when Mark saw her and yesterday. The paramedics estimated that she had been gone probably since Monday night or Tuesday morning.

Our mailman came over yesterday and asked me if I had seen her because she hadn't been getting her mail or her paper...this is the same mailman that she shared her newspaper with every day for him to read at lunch time...so that set in motion various neighbors trying to figure out if she was in her house...she called me last week to tell me that she wouldn't be able to walk Zoe for a couple of weeks - oh, did I mention that she walked our dog..and our dog before this dog...everyday, just because she loves dogs - because she had a masectomy the week before. When she called, I asked her if she needed anything - if there was any way that we could help her - she, of course, said no and I didn't push myself on her too much...partly because I knew she meant it, partly because I was busy with my own family. I left for Oklahoma and Mark was busy with the kids so that, coupled with the fact that we knew she had had surgery, made us not notice that we hadn't seen her for a few days.

Its sad to me that she died alone in her home from a heart attack, or some results of her surgery and that she laid in her house, unnoticed for probably three days....its sad to me that even though she did this nice, wonderful thing for me by walking my dog - that sometimes I looked at her as an annoyance because she would come to get Zoe at times that weren't completely convenient for me...its sad to me that we lived across the street from her for over 5 years and we had to look at some of her mail in order to find out her last name so we could call the Bishop from her Ward and let him know what had happened...Its sad to me that she requested that she not have any type of service to remember her life - which brings all kinds of implications with it about how she saw herself in this life, etc....

If you met Elizabeth, she might have been a little gruff with you, she wasn't a naturally smiley, friendly person...I think she lived a hard life - she was married to a man who I don't think was very nice to her...But she was a good neighbor and we will miss her...As Lora said today, "I wish Elizabeth didn't have to go and live with God, I think she should come back..."

Update...

2008-02-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

So, I'm still going ahead with my "business"...I put it in quotes because I don't think its really a legitimate "business" just because I have an Etsy store (with nothing in it yet) and business cards ordered from Vista Print (that haven't arrived yet)...but since my last post, I have finished two bags and an apron that could be listed in my store, I'm kind of waiting until I have 10 or so items to list AND once I get my business cards I'm going to use them as tags on my items to look more professional....I've also had a few people ask me for special orders so I'm working on getting the fabric for those...its kind of fun.

I leave tomorrow morning for Oklahoma City, my mom is having a little surgery so I'm heading down to keep dad company at the hospital and be there for them. Tomorrow is also my 38th birthday, so as a present to myself, I get to fly to OKC completely alone, with no children...reading a book or magazine or whatever I want....I land in OKC at around 4pm and my parents are actually out of town until about 8pm so I'm going to head off to "Hobby Lobby" my favorite OKC store and meader around...rest at my parents house until I head back to the airport to pick them up....it actually sounds wonderful to me....too bad my mom has to go through her surgery in order for me to get some "alone" time! :) So pray for my mom on Monday but, most of all, pray for Mark and the kids, especially Mark for the 5 days I'm gone...

Have a good weekend everyone...

Willo Creations

2008-02-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I decided on a name for my little "business"...I'm calling it "Willo Creations", which you may notice is a combination of my two kids names. And please don't tell me if you don't like it because I've already created a shop on Etsy using that name...I think its cute, and I guess that's what's important...I haven't listed anything to sell yet because I don't have anything made that is available, even all the fabric I have right now is promised to people already. But, I thought I would list a few pictures of some of my latest creations, all of these are already for others, but anything can be replicated...for a price! HA! Anyway, I'm going to see if I can figure out how to list multiple pictures on here...we'll see how it goes...

Okay, so I accidentally listed one twice, but its really cute and I can't figure out how to delete it without having to do it all over....and my pictures are a little blury so I'll have to work on that...let me know what you think...

Aprons and Bags and Fabric...Oh My!

2008-02-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

I kind of went on a fabric "binge" last week...I bought fabric for about 7 aprons and 3 bags or so...then RLG got me some more fabric for a bag...I'm like a kid in a candy store every time I go downstairs and look at it all...so many pretty colors and patterns.

My favorite fabric designer right now is Amy Butler, check her out www.amybutlerdesign.com I love her fabric and patterns so much! It is all so pretty on line, but so much better in person.

I've been looking for some kind of business that I could do for a couple of years, as a stay at home mom. Its hard to find something that pays enough to make it worth spending the time...I knitted baby hats for awhile but never really sold them, I ended up giving them to Lora or other friends. I really enjoy creative things like knitting and sewing, but don't know if I could ever make a business out of it. I saw a woman in Red Robin awhile ago wearing the coolest apron/blanket thing that was covering her up while nursing her baby and I thought "Why didn't I think of that!" And now I see them on e-bay and etsy all the time....

I started making aprons for us to wear at Mosaic and often have customers ask me if I sell them, then for Christmas this year, I made bags for family/friends and they went over pretty well...so, recently, I've had two friends from Lora's school ask me to make items for them...one bag and one apron...so, I think I'm going to try and make a couple of things for profit. Its hard for me because if someone says to me, "How about $20 for a bag?" I always answer, "Great" even though I have about $20 of materials in each one...its hard for me to say what I really think they are worth, thinking that no one will ever pay me that....

I've looked at www.etsy.com a lot and thought about posting some things I've made on there, but it intimidates me...I immediately question whether my stuff is good enough quality to sell on-line...I think I am going to start working on some things in preparation for Fall craft fairs and just go for it....we'll see if I actually do it, or just end up giving everything away...not that I'm that nice, just insecure, I think I need to get over that...

So, anyone have a fun creative name for a sewing, possibly some knitting, business that mainly makes aprons, bags and maybe baby hats? (Maybe I need to narrow my ideas!)

Reason Number 547 why I Love Mosaic....

2008-02-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

I'm working this morning at Mosaic and I know I wax on and on poetically about the many reasons why I love it here...and why because I love it so much I spend my Tuesday and Thursday mornings working even though that is literally the only 4.5 hours that I have per week without children....yes, I know I am a saint and I will have many jewels in my crown in heaven...HA!

Anyway, this morning a young mother came in with a baby in a stroller...it took her awhile to decide what she wanted but eventually she made her way up to the counter after everyone else was gone and said to me in a quiet voice..."If I order something today, can I pay for it tomorrow...my checking account is completely empty..." I said "Of course! What would you like?" And she proceeded to order her iced coconut latte and went on into Demitasse to play with her daughter. She looked just like I may have looked walking in with one of my kids, she probably wasn't homeless...but she didn't have any money and it didn't matter...and if she never comes back in and pays us...it doesn't matter....and that is reason #547 why I love Mosaic Coffeehouse....

One Voice....

2008-02-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

So, RLG, Hill, Sparky and I worked an event at Mosaic last night. It was really fun and crazy. The coffeehouse was loaded with tons of people, most of them way younger and hipper than me, which isn't difficult. They were there to hear from Trong and Roni from the Tronie foundation which all along with One Voice, www.onevoicetoendslavery.com , are working to end slavery and human trafficing throughout the world.

Trong and Roni are a married couple, she's from India and he is from Vietnam, who were both vicimized as children - she as a child slave and he as a refugee who was escaping being forced into the Viet-cong army. Their stories are incredible - you can read more at www.troniefoundation.org and I highly recommend checking out what they are doing.

I was amazed at the level of trafficing that goes on here in the US. I always think of this problem going on in other countries, but not here. Its incredible too the different ways that people are used - they told a story of a girl from Vietnam who came to America with her aunt - her mother, of course trusted this relative. The girl was forced to work in the family's restaurant here in Washington up to 12 hours per day with no pay and was then locked in her room each night to prevent escape. She was thankfully allowed to go to school and was rescued by a school counselor and was able to leave this life. Another woman was brought here from India, intially forced into prostitution and then used as a drug mule, she was beaten and threatened into submission and witnessed another woman dying after a drug balloon broke after she had ingested it. So sad....I guess too that many men are being used in Eastern Washington as migrant workers - they are brought here from South American countries and then forced to work to pay off their passaged to our country.

The event last night was partially a celebration of the opening of "Nell's House" which is the first house in Western Washington that will be used as a safe house for people coming out of human trafficking. This is sponsored by Homes of Freedom, www.homesoffreedom.org .

All three of these organizations seemed to being doing incredible work and I encourage people to check them out and support them, if possible. I met representatives from each one and they were wonderful, gracious people who are dedicating their lives to ending this horrible tragedy that is happening all over our world and even in our own city! I must admit, when I shook Roni's hand I couldn't help but think "She shook Oprah's hand too!" just kidding...sort of.....I was also struck by the demographics of our crowd, as I mentioned, most were very young and were so interested in what they could do to change this problem. I think so often, the young are looked down upon. But, I really feel like that generation is extremely tuned into social justice and are wanting to DO something to change their world...A very eye-opening and encouraging evening.

Eli Stone...

2008-02-01T16:10:00.000-08:00

Mark and I watched a new show last night, after the "Lost" premiere, of course...its called "Eli Stone" and I have to admit, it was pretty interesting. It tells the story of a corporate lawyer who has spent his life defending big corporations taking down the "little guy". He starts hilucinating, first that he hears George Michael's song "Faith" and then he even ends up seeing George Michael both in his living room and at his office...he has a series of other visions which do end up having a medical reason, but also possibly spiritual reasons

Through these experiences, he realizes that he maybe hasn't become the man that he set out to be and that perhaps he needs to make some changes. He starts by representing a woman, who he happens to have a strange connection with, that his firm was previously opposing in court...I really loved the premise and the originality of the situations.

At one point, Eli is talking to his acupuncturist after he gets his medical diagnosis and is discouraged because he felt that maybe his visions had some spiritual significance which was now diminished by the medical explanation he was given. His acupuncturist tells him that most things have both a scientific and a spiritual explanation...but its up to us which explanation we believe. I thought it was a great show and I'm always interested when Hollywood comes out with these types of shows...I wouldn't call it "Christian" per se but the spiritual messages are clear and interesting. (I'm not saying it was clean or appropriate for the whole family, so don't criticize me for recommending it...) I think you can watch full episodes of it on ABC's website if you're interested....

Happy....

2008-01-31T13:18:00.001-08:00

I've been in a really good mood the past few days...I'm not completely sure why. I'm generally a happy person, but I've been unusually happy. I think part of it has to do with the sense of control over myself and my life that I've been feeling recently. I've been working really hard at planning menus for the family and eating healthier...keeping my house clean using my card file system and working out on a more regulary basis and it does make a difference in how I feel.

It was funny because Monday was a snow day and we were all home because Mark takes Monday's off...I basically stayed in my pajamas all day, relaxed and sewed most of the day, which was fun on one level, but by the afternoon I found myself kind of irritable and frustrated by the end of the day and I think it was because the house was a mess and I hadn't accomplished anything other than being further on the bag I was making.

But since Tuesday I've felt lest frustrated and more patient and it seems weird because I've been busier and had less downtime but I've accomplished so much more and that has to be part of it...Jen at This Pile was talking about this awhile ago (I would insert a link here, but I don't really know how to do that)...its amazing what a little organization will do for you....

Apologies to my Readers....If I have any...

2008-01-14T14:56:00.000-08:00

So, I made a mistake the other night, I went back through and read some of my old posts, all the way back to the beginning...I was looking for a baby story about Lora because I'm supposed to have on for preschool...but I was mainly struck by the decline in my blogging skills, which were meager to begin with...

I feel like my topics and writing have both gotten boring and monotonous over the last two years. I think the busier I get, the less time I have to think about anything and so the less time I have to formulate thoughts, the less thoughts that get written down. Although I am, by no means, a real writer...I think I've become less of a writer than I once was, if that is possible. The only thing I think about now is kids, kindergarten, co-op, dieting, exercise and I think I'm so tired that I can even think of anything interesting to say about the things that I am experiencing...so, if you'll just stick with me through "lean times" hopefully as my kids get older, I will have more time to formulate coherant thoughts and maybe even write them down...oh well, now I'm off to make up a baby story for Lora since I have a complete blank about her before age one...isn't that sad??

The First Workout of Many...

2008-01-10T12:51:00.000-08:00

So, I started working out today. I got "The Firm" aerobics system on E-bay...as a side note, how are people able to sell multiples of the same item for $39.95 when it retails for $90 on TV? - I understand having one, but 20 or so...gives me visions of mobsters hijaking trucks. Anyway, I digress...however the person I bought it from got it, I'm happy I did. Of course, I've only done one workout, but it was really good. The system comes with 4 DVD's and sets of weights that you can increase as you work up to it. Then they lay out a plan for rotating the DVD's...its nice because each DVD also has a 40 minute and 20 minute option so based on how much time you have you can pick.

I was pleasanty surprised that I was able to do it, instead of a frenzied high impact aerobics, it was a lot of lunges and more controlled movements - I was definatly sweating and working out but I never had to quit because I couldn't breathe - now, quitting because my legs were burning is another story, but overall, I was able to do it.

I'm trying to decide when I'm going to be able to workout the 5 times/week that I'm striving for. I was able to this morning while Lora was in school because I didn't work at Mo, but that doesn't always happen...and with shuttling kids back and forth, trying to keep my house clean, etc I'm not sure what time I will consistently be able to do this...Unless I actually get up earlier in the morning, which is a really hard thing for me to commit to...I figured out though, that even if I just wake up at 7AM, I would be able to work out before getting ready and getting the kids ready, etc...I'm thinking as part of my "Requiring More of Myself" in '08, I may try to do this. I realize that for most people 7AM is not even early, but for me who likes to lay in bed until the last possible moment which is usually 8 or 8:15, this is a big committment. But, I'm considering it - this would also give me more time to eat a good breakfast each morning, make the kids a good breakfast, etc before we have to be out the door. So, I think I've convinced myself to try it - we'll see how it goes....wish me luck!

Back in the Swing of Things...

2008-01-08T15:58:00.000-08:00

Today felt like vacation was really over. Although Will went back to school yesterday and we took down the Christmas decorations...Monday is normally our "day off" so we didn't do too much...Today, was a normal day though filled with taxing kids to school, working at Mosaic, doing laundry, thawing out chicken for dinner...back to the usual and that's okay. It was kind of fun, in fact.

I had fun working this morning at Mosaic and was reminded again, as I am every time I work, how much I love it there. A couple of my "mom" friends from Will's co-op class were in so we caught up...I love knowing people in the neighborhood and feeling like we are providing a great place for people to connect and get to know each other. I know, I sound like a broken record...but its a cool place.

Tonight, Red Letter Girl and I start Weight Watchers. I'm really excited. I've done it before, but not where I've gone to the meetings with someone else - I think it will really help me to have a friend to journey with. Well, and my husband too, but he's not coming to the meetings with us...someone has to watch the kids. I was inspired by RLG's blog about "Requiring More of Yourself" and feel like that should be my mantra for the year in a lot of areas of my life. Whether that's eating, exercising, not yelling at my kids, being more grateful, appreciating my husband more, being consistent with my housecleaning, keeping in better touch with my family, reading my Bible and praying more, having a better attitude, etc, etc, etc...the list could go on, but its an easy thing to remind myself of..."In this situation how can I require more of myself in order to be the person that God created me to be?" I think I'm doing okay but I think I could do better. Here's to RMOY in 2008!

Home Again, Home Again...Lickety Split

2008-01-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

Well, not quite "Lickety Split"...but after 3,245 hours on the road, we are finally home. We had a great time and really, the kids were great in the car - but its nice to be home.

Here are some highlights:

Christmas Eve service at my brother's church (well, its God's church, but he's the pastor) with our nephews as Wise Men and Shepherds, niece as an angel and a "real" baby Jesus - the best part was when Uncle Scott said something about there being a baby Jesus and Lora, who's been on my lap the whole time perks up and says "There's a baby up there?"
Chili and presents at Scott and Debbie's house on Christmas Eve- not as crazy as it was the last time we were all together at Christmas - I'm happy the kids are getting older.
Will's face when he saw the box of 64 Pokeman we got him on Ebay - I'm guessing they're direct from China and full of lead - but he'll have fun before the brain damage sets in.
Christmas Day eating outside next to Scott and Debbie's pool, praying that neither of my kids would fall in and drown since they can't swim.
Disneyland with the kids for the first time...we went during the absolutely busiest week of the year - but, who knew that if you have a blind child you get a little pass that gets you to the front of every line...we considered renting Lora out to other families.
Seeing Kyra Sedgewick at "The Grove" shopping center in Los Angeles....at least according to me it was Kyra Sedgewick and no one else can prove otherwise.
Eating brunch with the whole family at a great resturant in Laguna Beach, right on the water and then playin in the tide pools after...don't tell anyone that I brought a shell home with me - I'm sure there's an APB out for me.
The people who's house we were staying in coming home one day earlier than we were expecting...walking in on Mark laying in their bed watching a movie with the kids and me sitting on their toilet reading a book...us awkwardly slinking off to our own rooms, them trying to sleep in sheets we hadn't washed yet.
Mark and I then sneaking out of their house at 5AM, packing the car as quietly as possible, dressing the kids and leaving all without waking them up...then meeting my parents for one last breakfast before hitting the road.
Driving around San Francisco with the kids showing Will all the places we used to go, stopping briefly in a souvenier shop, buying sweatshirts and play cable cars (the best part was Lora picking up a toy and saying to me, "Mom, are these novelty toys?") and then eating at our favorite Mexican resturant in San Rafael, Panchitos - the first place Will ever had refried beans (at about 8 months) which are still his favorite thing.
Spending New Year's Eve with Mark and the kids in the Travelodge in Novato - watching Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve and all of us snoring by 11:30.
Arriving home to a mess of shredded paper and pee-pee pads on our dark green area rug...just Zoe's way of expressing her frustration with us being gone for 10 days....we did have someone taking care of her, but I think she missed us.

We had a wonderful time - it couldn't have been better but I'm happy to be back in my own little house, on my own little corner of the world...vacation is fun, but home is better.

Living the Dream

2007-12-15T11:26:00.001-08:00

I had a dream last night that Mark got a call to a church in Colorado and he told me that we were moving there...I looked at him, in my dream, and said "What about Mosaic? What about all the planning, work and connections that have been made?" He looked at me and said, "I'm bored. I need a new challenge. We've done it already." Its funny, because I woke up with this horrible feeling this morning and even though I know it was just a dream - I've been kind of melancholy this morning as I work in Mosaic...

For all my complaining about this place - and I do complain sometimes - I still love it...I love the families that come in - Karen and Scott were in this morning with their kids and their parents from Port Orchard...the parents from the Chinese school that meets upstairs on Saturdays...a couple chatting on the stage, maybe a new romance budding...I met Mike this morning who works for both Amazon and is also an usher at the 5th Avenue Theatre...Chris and Robert both came in for their "regulars" (20oz White Chocolate Mocha and 12oz Americano with room respectively)...Tammy and her "small mocha" that thankfully didn't taste like a dog's butthole to her today...a Demitasse room full of kids and their parents...and at 12:30 we have a flute recital...it really is an amazing thing to see and I know you probably get tired of hearing about it - but I'm so excited and happy to be here, on this corner of the world, a barista for the kingdom...so maybe when I was asleep, it was a nightmare an now I'm living the dream....

My Dad has caught the Christmas Fever

2007-11-28T20:45:00.000-08:00

A friend showed us this website tonight and its really fun...I couldn't think of anyone better than my dad to make an elf...its hilarious! Enjoy..if you're interested in making your own family members into elves, its www.elfyourself.com

To see my dad as an elf, click the link below....
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9631095701

Thankfulness...

2007-11-21T09:45:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, as I'm sure you know the pictures are of Will and Lora serving at our church's Thanksgiving lunch...I love Thanksgiving. I think I like it as much, if not more than Christmas. Christmas tends to stress me out more, the gift giving boggles my mind and always leaves me feeling like I picked all the wrong presents...Thanksgiving is all about good food, family, relaxing...the cooking can be stressful, but nothing else is.

This year, we are staying home. We typically have gone to the Oregon Coast with my in-laws but aren't this year. We're having Mark's parents and our friends Nooshin and Paya over for lunch. I'm really excited because my friend Nooshin is from Iran and I don't think she's ever experienced a traditional American Thanksgiving. My husband would love for us to deep fry the turkey but this year, I'm going to brine it over night and then use Emeril Legasse's recipe which includes basting ever 20 minutes or whatever...I'm breaking out on my own - and it may be a flop, but we'll see.

I'm thankful for so many things this year...my family which includes great parents who have loved and supported me always, a terrific brother, sister-in-law, three nephews and one niece - who we will be visiting at Christmas...wonderful parents in-law who don't fit any of the negative in-law stereotypes...an incredible husband who loves me just how I am...a son who is bright and funny and expresses his love freely...a daughter who amazes me every day as she reminds me that she is so much more than a diagnosis...Great friends who are like family...A fun and challenging place to minister...A perfect home, neighborhood and schools for my kids...and a God who loves me unconditionally and challenges me to love others the same way. Life is good and I am thankful....

Weekend Away

2007-11-13T15:35:00.000-08:00

Mark and I had a weekend away this past weekend...it was our first time away alone since before Lora was born, so about 4 years. We went to Victoria and we had a really fun time. We stayed in a hotel, went to fun places to eat, walked around the whole city, drank coffee and looked at books in a bookstore and we went to a movie...all without the kids.

It was nice to step on the ferry at Port Angeles and realize that I didn't have to entertain or "watch" anyone...I could just sit there and look out the window or close my eyes and take a rest...it was really nice.

On the way over, Mark bought me a book at the Ferry gift shop. Its called "Eat, Pray, Love", and I'm really loving it...I will write more about it later.

But, on Friday night, we went to the movies. I read a review of a movie weeks ago called "Lars and the Real Girl"...I talked Mark into seeing it and it was so good. It was one of those quirky, funny, touching movies that I love so much. Its about a painfully shy guy who has trouble relating even to his own family..he has some tragic circumstances in his past that contribute to this. He can barely even talk to other people...Its very strange, but he ends up ordering a life-sized fake woman from the internet and he begins introducing her to everyone as his new girlfriend named Bianca. Now, I know what you're thinking, but this movie does not go to the 8th grade boy humor that might normally go along with a "blow-up" or fake woman in most movies.

It was just the sweetest story about how his family and the whole town begin accepting him and his delusion that his girlfriend is real. Part of it is helped along by a doctor in town who encourages people to go with him in order to help him...In fact, they go so far as to elect Bianca to the school board. With Bianca by his side, Lars is able to talk to other people and relate on a level he previously was unable to...and eventually he realizes that he doesn't need her and he's able to begin a relationship with a "real girl"...

I loved it, especially the way his family and town were portrayed, the love that they showed to Lars...I highly recommend this sweet story to anyone...yes, it was a little weird but so great.

All in all we had a really fun weekend away and I'm so grateful to the village who helped us with our children and our church who sent us and paid our way...thanks to all!

What was I thinking?

2007-11-07T16:34:00.000-08:00

What is it about Co-op Preschool that sends me right back to Jr High? It seems like so often in my dealings with my fellow co-op parents I return to my former insecurities. A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege or should I say drudgery of attending our All School Board Meeting, this is where all three classes that meet at our site get together. I was chosen to be the secretary for this meeting, since I'm my classes secretary and each of us has to rotate in on an All School meeting...it was my turn.

I was already put off because the person in charge of this meeting sent us a 5 page agenda - well it seemed like 5 pages...it was very thorough, let's just put it that way. So, I was dreading the meeting and it lived up to all of my dread. It was long, seemingly very serious and extremely tedious. I don't enjoy taking notes for meetings such as this - these type of meetings and my personality do not mix. I like to crack jokes - which my own board has gotten used to, but this was a new group and I don't know that they apreciated my sense of humor - although the guy next to me did get my "Assistant to the Regional Treasurer" comment. Anyway, we did so much discussing that it was really difficult to know what was pertinent enough to make the minutes and what should be left out, etc. But I feel that I hit all the important points and only one actual motion was made during the whole meeting.

So, I sent out my minutes earlier this week and I got e-mail from the organizer of the meeting saying that she thinks she must not have gotten all of the pages as she only got approx. 1.5 pages, etc...I thought maybe the document didn't e-mail correctly, so I resent it to both her and myself and checked the document and all looked correct to me...so, I get ANOTHER e-mail (which was the 5th one in one day) asking me to print them out and give them to her because she "can't possibly be getting all my minutes". So, I automatically go to the insecure place of - what did I do wrong? Did I not take the minutes correctly? Instead of the healthier - What is her problem? What did she expect? Or the even healthier - Who cares? Its only Preschool? I stress about this all afternoon, wondering what I might have missed at the meeting, wasting precious energy that could have been used in more productive ways...

I swear I must ask myself multiple times a week.."What was I thinking?" and "Am I the only one who sends my kids to Co-op because its the only preschool we can afford?"

Fun Was Had By All - Happy Halloween

2007-11-01T11:19:00.001-07:00

I love Halloween...I've always loved Halloween. I'm sure it has something to do with all the candy. I loved dressing up, getting my pumpkin shaped carrier and heading out for a night of Trick or Treating. I think its a great night and I don't really understand the problem that some people have with it. I think it becomes whatever you make it...I have a friend who moved from Kirkland over to the Eastern side of the mountains a few years ago and she was always a big Halloween celebrator. Even though her husband was on staff at a church and they always had the obligatory "Harvest Party", my friend would decorate her house - not really scary or anything - just the normal pumpkins, cobwebs, etc. She let her kids go Trick or Treating, just the normal stuff.

When she moved to a smaller town, Fall came and she started her normal decorating, etc. Her husband is now the pastor of a church...anyway, some of her friends came to her and said..."We don't really celebrate Halloween here, we turn our porch lights off and don't participate." I loved my friends response....she very kindly said, "I've always thought, what other night of the year are my neighbors knocking on my door? And if that's the case, why wouldn't I let them in?"

Of course I'm paraphrasing and retelling the story how I remember it, but I thought of that last night as we were out Trick or Treating...Will was really into it and we got pretty far into the neighborhood. But there were big groups of kids with parents all out walking around knocking on each other's doors. We knocked on a few doors, and were surprised by which neighbors live in which house...Will ran into friends from kindergarten and I was able to meet their parents or say Hi to those I already know. Some invited us to join them in their quest for candy. I loved it.

I especially loved Will's enthusiasm and how he would greet his friends and chat with them about how much candy he had collected. I loved how he would ask at houses if he could get an extra piece of candy for his sister who was in her stroller not feeling well, and he would actually give the extra to her. I loved how he wasn't scared of any of the skeletons or ghosts or homeowners who answered their door in masks - he knew it was all pretend...but, mostly, I loved the feeling of community - it was a beautiful night and fun was had by all....

Reflections on a Week (well 3 days) of Full Time Work...

2007-10-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

I haven't worked full-time, outside of the home, for pay since before Will was born. Its funny because I really love being a stay at home mom, but sometimes feel like I need validation that I still can use my brain above a Kindergartener's level...

Well, this week, I have had my opportunity to work full time again, only not for pay. Due to vacations and sickness, I have been working at Mosaic three straight days from 8:00-5, 6 or 7. I'm exhausted and not any richer than I was last week, but its been fun too. I normally volunteer in the evenings so I've met a whole new crowd this week. Lots of moms with kids some of whom go to school with Will, college students, business people who have meetings here, Dick's employees...its really an eclectic crowd. Its fun to hear people tell other people, "This is our family's favorite new spot in the neighborhood"...Its been really busy today and I handled the morning and lunch rush all by myself without cowering in the corner in tears...or yelling at anyone.

I'm so proud of this place and so happy to be a part of it...But, after this week, I realize why I don't work full time. Its hard as a mom with two small children to work a full day, go home, make dinner, still do the laundry, try to clean your house, give baths, read stories, get kids into beds...Did I mention that Mark is the one who's been sick this week and he's done what he can...I went and got Will from school yesterday and dropped him off at home and Lora cried and didn't want me to leave. I shut the door and could still hear her crying as I walked back down the street to the coffeehouse...realizing with each step why I'm a stay at home mom...

So, I've had a fun three days...I'm exhausted, my house is a pig sty and I've probably gained 5 pounds from bagels and Pumpin Pie Chai Teas...but I was reminded that I can converse with adults, I really do like helping other people and I can make some beautiful foam....so its all good.

I Fired My Housecleaner...Boy am I Tired

2007-10-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't so much as fire her as I canceled her. Out of the kindness of her heart, my mom has paid for a housecleaner for me twice a month for the last three years...one of the benefits of having a blind daughter. But, after three years...and now that Will is in school I talked to my mom and told her that I thought I could handle the cleaning now. So, I said "Adios" to Alicia and took over my house.

So, I started this system called "Sidetracked Home Executive". Its this book my mom read back in the 70's and she sent it to me..you organize your whole house on 3X5 cards, splitting up each room and each task into Daily, Weekly, Monthly, etc tasks so that everything gets done..Then you decide which days you want to do things...like for me Sunday is Meal Planning/Grocery List day...Monday is Grocery Shopping...Tuesday Laundry...Wednesday I clean the Upstairs....Thursday is a day off...Friday I clean downstairs and Saturday I do laundry again. It sounds like a lot but with it all broken up, it makes it much easier.

To add to my stress, Lora is wearing panties...and peeing on the floor mostly. She did really well the first day, so I thought "This will be easy"....she tricked me and since then has not peed once on the potty. But, I'm not giving up...she must be trained. Even if it kills both of us....

Lora Drew a Face....

2007-09-27T22:38:00.000-07:00

So, I cried in Co-op this morning...and not just because one of the little girls told me I was fat. About three times throughout the year, teacher Kris asks the kids to draw a self portrait. This morning was the first of those times. During our small group, we handed the kids paper and asked them to draw themselves. We asked questions like.."What shape is your head?" "What do you have on your face?", etc...

So, Lora proceeded to draw a perfect circle, the two circles for eyes, a smile and a nose. This picture is actually the second portrait she drew...I grabbed the other one before anything happened to it so she drew this one and added lots of curly hair and possibly a beard of some sort. She has a good imagination. I just looked at her go, concentrating and putting all the pieces in their perfect place..and I looked at the three boys at our table one scribbling and the other two barely able to make a circle. I realize she is a girl, she enjoys drawing, etc...but she's also supposedly blind. And all I could do is look with wonder and cry.

This may not look like much to anyone other than her mother or maybe her dad...but to this mother, it is a masterpiece and should be hung in a gallery somewhere with the title "Look What God Can Do...."

Made in China

2007-09-17T13:38:00.001-07:00

So, my parents were here last week for a couple of days. It was fun to see them, have them see us and have them check out Mosaic which they hadn't seen completed yet. It was fun on Friday because Mosaic was really busy in the morning, packed with mom and their kids all playing in Demitasse and actually spilling out into the Den and the main room....my dad looked at me at one point and said, "The most amazing thing about this is that none of these people are directly connected to your church..." It was fun.

We went shopping on Thursday and we decided to stop by Old Navy. I was commenting to my mom, in Lora's presence, about the clothes I recently ordered for her on-line. I was amazed by how many different countries the clothes were made in. From Egypt to Taiwan to Indonesia...and I commented that the sweater Lora had on was made in China.

So, three days later....Heidi, Lora and I are sitting outside my in-laws house helping with a garage sale. Lora has on the same sweater and Heidi asks her if her mommy made her sweater, to which Lora responds, "No, China made it"

It amazes me how much she picks up and listens and overhears and remembers...she is so funny and smart. Tomorrow she starts pre-school...the first one that I will leave her at for at least 2 days a week. I'm excited for her and think that she will have a great time...I just hope the other "typical" kids can keep up with her!

Time and Perspective

2007-09-07T14:31:00.000-07:00

Last week, we took Lora to her annual eye exam...which is always an ordeal. It usually lasts about 2 hours because by the time we get in the office, have her tested by the assistant, checked by the Doctor, eyes dialated, wait 20 minutes, and go back in...its been about two hours. Plus, getting a 3 1/2 year old to open her eyes volunterily and look in a bright light or keep them open long enough for the doctor to see the back of her eye is a huge thing. We bribed her first with chocolate, then with a treat in the caffeteria and finally with a trip to Toys-R-Us before we were done and by the end it was me holding her on my lap, Mark holding her legs down and the assistant holding her head while Dr. Grace physically pried her eyes open...(BYW, I really don't like our opthomologist's assistant...don't know why she just rubs me the wrong way and I almost asked her to stop talking this time, but I held it together.)

So, needless to say, I felt that Lora deserved a $10 Little People toy for her trauma. While we were there, Will went to Paya's house for a playdate and when we got home, this is the conversation I overheard from the TV room...

Will: Lora, when you went to the eye doctor did they give you medicine so you can see better now?
Lora: Nope, still can't see....
Will: Oh...

I have to admit, it cracked me up. Its funny how the things that would have sent me into a fit of crying a year ago make me laugh now...Its true how time and perspective help everything - and I'm sure God has something to do with it too...

One Day Down...10,000,000 to go...

2007-09-05T22:15:00.000-07:00

So, Will made it through his first day at school. He did fine, there were no tears or grabbing to hold on...Will didn't cry either. When I went to pick him up, Miss Lucy said that he had some transition issues after the morning recess. He didn't want to go back to his Spanish class, he wanted to go to the English class. So, she very nicely just said if we could go over with him his schedule so he understood. I asked her if these type of "transition issues" are typical, and she said "they can be"...which I took to mean, not usually...so I stressed about it all the way home...

So, after talking with Will about his day, I got to the bottom of the "transition issues"...His good friend Paya is in the other class, they all play together at recess and so after recess, Will simply wanted to stay with Paya. It had nothing to do with not wanting to be in Spanish class, he just wanted to stay with his buddy, which I understand...he they proceeded to tell Mark and I, "When I talked to the principal, I told him I wanted to learn Japanese and he told me that I can come to his house and he'll teach me Japanese"...to which I screeched "You got sent to the principal's office!?!?" Come to find out they took a "field trip" to meet the principal, so I picked myself off the floor and realized that Miss Lucy would have told me if his "transition issues" had escalated to the point to merit a trip to the principal's office. So, thankfully, he hasn't been sent to the office YET.

Mark talked with him extensively tonight about how he and Paya can play together at recess and he can play with Paya after school, but he is in Spanish class and Paya is in Japanese so they can't be in class together and he needs to make things easier on his teachers and just go where they tell him...to which he answered, "I know dad..." Here's to an easier "transition" day tomorrow....

Kindergarten...

2007-09-04T23:16:00.000-07:00

So, Will starts Kindergarten tomorrow morning. Its so weird, I really can't believe it. I've been really not nervous or weepy about it at all, which is also weird. Maybe because I don't feel like its really happening, the emotion hasn't hit me yet. I really felt like Will was doing great too. In fact, he's seemed almost oblivious to it all.

But, tonight he asked Mark if kids get scared at kindergarten, if their parents can stay with them...or if they get scared during the day, if the teacher will call their parents to come and get them. Then he asked Mark what he does if he falls and cuts his leg...does he go to the school nurse or just to his teacher. And he also told Mark that he wished he was taking Japanese so he could be with his friend Paya. So, it makes me think that he has been thinking about things more than he's let on.

I just keep telling myself that all the other kids there are new to school too and that his teachers have all been teaching for 15 years and they seemed really nice. One weird thing is that he starts with Spanish tomorrow morning and for the first half of his day, he hears no English from his teachers...so that could be interesting...I really feel like he'll be fine, its just a weird thing to drop him off at 9:10 and not pick him up until 3:20...he's going to have his first school lunch tomorrow, his first recess with "big" kids...he's such a great kid and I hope he has a great first day...I'm really hoping and praying that all goes well...I'll keep you posted!

Back to School...for the first time

2007-08-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

I have a 5 year old today. Which is weird because he doesn't really seem any different today than he did yesterday, but today he is 5. Which seems old to me. And tonight, we are headed off to John Stanford Elementary for his first "Back to School" night. We will meet his first "real" teachers tonight...Miss Lucy and Miss Maria, he has both an English and a Spanish teacher as our neighborhood school does language emersion which I think is pretty cool.

He seems excited but I know he doesn't grasp the significance of this night and this next week...I think I grasp it as I get teary writing this. Starting next Wednesday, Mark and I will no longer be the only big influences in his life -yes I know we will still be the biggest influences, but from 9:10-3:00 Monday through Friday...he will belong to Miss Lucy and Miss Maria and will be influenced by them and all the other kids in his class and so indirectly by all of their parents also. It is weird to me - and for all of my "open minded" talk...he really has been pretty sheltered and now I feel like I'm sending him out into the world. I realize its only kindergarten, but there are other bigger kids there and it makes me want to protect his innocence even more.

I don't want him to have to learn that kids can be cruel sometimes...and that everyone won't want to be his friend...I'm not ready for team sports and comparisons about athletic abilities (because if genetics has anything to do with it, he's screwed)...I'm not ready for little girls to want to kiss him, or worse, not want to...I'm not ready for hurt feelings...

But on the other side - there are new languages to be learned...new concepts to grasp...reading to happen...a mind to be opened and new ideas to be explored...many friends to be made and a great adventure to be started...so, "Back to School" night, here we come - I hope John Stanford is ready for one great kid to enter its ranks...

Will's Backyard Party

2007-08-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I'm a blogging loser. I'm sure the masses have stopped even checking my blog to see if I've added anything new....Hopefully I can gain my huge readership back....Life has been crazy recently. With Summer, kids, Mosaic, church, life...I have felt no energy for updating.

So, Will turns 5 this week! I can hardly believe it...in some ways I feel like he's still a 3 year old, but in other ways he seems so old to me. He starts Kindergarten next week, which is also so weird. Yes, I know, he's just turning 5 and we aren't holding him back a year, we're starting him in school this year. We may be stupid - so you don't have to tell us we are - I just can't imagine having him home another year...He didn't seem any less mature than any of the other kids at preschool and we think he's ready...you can tell us "I told you so" later when he's in "Super Kindergarten" next year...(that is a King of Queens reference, if you don't recognize it)

We had a Backyard party yesterday with Will and his friend Paya who turned 5 on the 20th. It was fun to plan and put the party together with my friend Nooshin. It was her first birthday party that she had even attended in America, so it was fun to explain all of the things that are expected...like goodie bags - which are kind of a weird concept. We had a great day in our yard with 13-15 kids and parents beside...I think everyone had fun and Will and Paya had a great time being the center of attention...It was great for me to see that a simple party with popcorn, chips, fruit, cupcakes and lemonade in our backyard can be just as fun to the kids as renting out some big space or taking them all to Chuckie Cheese...the kids don't care, they just want to be together playing and running around...it was great! Happy Birthday to Will! I love you!

A Visit from an Old Friend.....

2007-07-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here, waiting for a visit from an old friend. I haven't seen Christy in close to ten years, but we were best friends all through high school. Its funny how you can have someone who is so integral to your life for a good 8 years or so and then, not talk to them for literally 10. Maybe I'm unique in that defect...but I'm horrible about keeping in contact with friends who live far away. We were inseperable in high school, kept in contact through college (even though she went to SPU and I headed to NNU), I was a bridesmaid in her wedding....then there is a huge chasm. I think I visited her in her new apartment after she was married a couple of times and then nothing.

I actually started thinking about her a couple of years ago and "googled" her, I sort of kept track of her through mutual friends...I knew she and her husband had moved to Illinois...tried to find an e-mail address and then, out of the blue, got a Christmas card from her. She had heard that we were pastoring at SFC so she sent the card to the church. So, we e-mailed a couple of times but haven't talked or seen each other....I'm excited...

I wonder if we will still have any connection? Me with my peanut butter smudged shirt, not quite done hair, kids in tow....I'm hoping that we will pick up where we left off, like no time has passed...Who knows? But I'm really excited to see her!

The Innocence of Children...

2007-07-10T08:37:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, Mark, the kids and I went out to lunch with some friends after church. I took Will to the bathroom towards the end of lunch and deleting out the "poop" talk, here is our conversation:

Will: Mommy, why do kids have to go to the bathroom with their parents?
Me: Well, its just not safe for kids to go to the bathroom by themselves.
Will: Why?
Me: Well, a stranger, who might not be nice could come in and hurt you....(I said unsure of how to word it so as not to scar him for life...)
Will: What would they do?
Me: Uh, well...
Will: Well, they could put my head in the toilet and then flush it...that would hurt.

Cracked me up...

Community

2007-07-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say that I love living in Wallingford and I love that Mosaic is a part of this community....this week, we were contacted by Will's "Buddy" from John Stanford Elementary (they pair up first grade families with each of the new Kindergarteners coming in) So, the mom contacted us via e-mail to set up a time to meet...Mark e-mailed her back and she said "Wait a minute...are you the Mark and Christa from Mosaic? We've played with your kids..." We set up a time to meet at the park and I recognized her right away. It was so nice to already feel connected.

We participated in the Wallingford kids parade today and walking back, we stopped and got cupcakes and I chatted with another mom at Wallingford center who is a "regular" at Mosaic. Then, as we were walking home, the Wallingford Boys and Girls Club was marching and they announcer said that they had just remodeled their space and I was reminded that they were the 10% charity for Mosaic a couple of months back...and I thought, "we were a part of that". We walked down 44th to come home and ran into Susan who chatted with us for a few minutes, another regular...it is so nice to feel connected and Mosaic is the reason for that connection with each of these people. It just feels so good to be a part of the community that I live in and I didn't feel that way before Mosaic...it makes me feel like we are accomplishing what we set out to do and I love it!

Live Earth

2007-07-07T22:45:00.001-07:00

I've been watching the Live Earth concert this evening. I have to admit that I'm a star struck, music junkie and seeing all of these acts together excites me deeply. Mark thinks I'm a complete weirdo, but I got so excited to see Duran Duran, the Police, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and right now, Lenny Kraviz is rocking the house. Mark got slightly excited by Pink Floyd...its amazing to me. It so reminds me of Live Aid...yes, I am old.

I started to write this big paragraph about where is the church in this...like during Live Aid, I wondered the same thing. But that promotes such an "us and them" mentality...its incredible how little it takes to make a difference in our environment and we need to start doing something - especially those of us in the church who are very slow when it comes to the environment.

But, mostly, tonight, I'm amazed by how many freakin' great musicians there are in the world...I mean, someone like Ant from the Chili Peppers is this weird, freaky little guy who sometimes goes on stage naked, looking like an idiot...but he is really an incredible bass player....

Switch to energy efficent lightbulbs and unplug your phone chargers when you're not using them! That's not too hard.....

Hello Again....Hello

2007-06-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, I am a blogging loser. I don't know what has been wrong with me lately....I haven't felt like I've had anything to say for quite some time.

We just got back from a trip to see my parents in Oklahoma. We had a really great time....it rained quite a bit, which I was happy about because everything was still green and it wasn't quite as hot as we expected. We relaxed a lot, went out to eat, swam in a pool, and mom and I got beated to a pulp in "Hand and Foot" by Mark and my dad....all in all we had a really fun time. Thanks for having us Mom and Dad.

It was fun, one night we played with the kids from next door. They got out the T-Ball set and I felt like a complete loser parent because Will had never even hit a ball off a T. But, he actually hit really well, once we got him pointed in the right direction. Then Lora wanted to try. So I lined her up, stood behind her and helped her hit it a couple of times and then she turned to me and said, "I can do it myself!" So, I let her, and she did great! It was so fun to watch her figure it out and little miss independence did it.

Its funny, because one of her teachers has gotten her a little white cane, which she hates. But, when she uses it she is so much more confident. We took it with us and always asked her if she wanted to take it with her whenever we went anywhere. She always said "No". Until our last flight from Salt Lake to Seattle. For some reason she said "Yes" and wanted to use her cane to walk onto the plane.

She actually looks really cute walking with her little cane. But the reaction from other people was so shocking. We heard, "Oh, look at that" "That poor little girl" "Isn't that sad"....I almost had to laugh as I remembered a few nights earlier, her knocking the ball off the "T", saying "I can do it myself"....I wanted to assure all the people in the terminal that there was nothing "Sad" or "poor" about her....a lot to be grateful for!

New Friends

2007-05-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

The kids and I made some new friends this week...two different play-dates with two different families...it was fun. Its fun to meet and get to know new people. I love people - their stories, their histories, the way we're the same, the way we're different. Its been fun this past year, since Will's been in pre-school to meet more people with kids. Before this year, we didn't do things like playdates very often...I didn't have that many friends with young children. I have to confess that my home-body self had a hard time at first - getting out there and making "dates" with people. I'm still not good at initiating them....its just too easy for me to have a day like today where we're all still in our jammies, watching Blue's Clues. But, I realize its good for the kids and great for me to make new friends...

So, thank you to Jen, Ruthie, Thomas, Meg, Eowyn and Coco for making our week more fun...and for being new friends!

Everyday with Harry...

2007-05-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

I've never read the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" but Mark and I are living our own version currently with an elderly man from church, Harry. He's a single, never been married, gentleman who is in his 80's. He's retired from Boeing, has lived in the same basement apartment for years and has been a member at SFC since he moved to Seattle years ago. He's a very sweet little man...I say that because he is really little - about 5' 4" tall and weighs no more than 125 lbs dripping wet.

We've been worried about Harry recently because he's becoming more forgetful, getting to church and then not remembering whether he drove or rode the bus, losing his coat and keys, showing up for Tuesday morning bible study on Wednesday...things of that nature. He also seems to only eat when he's at church - our associate Tim and his wife had started taking their left overs from dinner each night, putting them in the church fridge with Harry's name on them. He's been complaining of his back aching so Mark took him to the doctor last week...they scheduled some follow-up appointments and Mark stopped by his apartment with Harry after the apointment....because of the appointments - wanting to make sure Harry gets to them - the condition of his apartment, and the fear we have about him being taken advantage of, Harry moved into our guestroom last night. There is a possibility of him moving in with his sister that we are working on, so it will probably only be short-term.

Having people live with us is something, over the years, that Mark and I have frequently done. Its funny, because, although it can be inconvenient...it happens to be something I enjoy. My mom loves to say to me, "Oh you can't do that to yourself" when I tell her of our latest houseguest....but I partially blame my parents for my being okay with others in our home. My mom and dad are two of the most hospitable people I know. They frequently opened our guestroom to people throughout my childhood...twice we had whole families living with us - people who had moved to Seattle and were looking for places to live and I remember at least two other friends of ours staying with us while looking for housing. Those are just the longer-term situations I remember that were friends of ours in transition.

I also remember the Native American single mother my mom somehow got in contact with whose newborn baby had been transferred to Children's Hospital. Her baby died very shortly after she arrived here and mom brought the mother home to stay with us for a few days until she could return home. This doesn't include all the one-night guests - missionaries, friends, relatives, etc. that made their way through our home. I love how my parents didn't have different standards for different people, all were treated like family and given the best of what we had....thanks for the lesson in hospitality mom and dad.

So, because of this, we have "Everyday with Harry"....and other stories to tell later in life from Mark and my home. I can see already how easily my kids adjust. This morning, at the breakfast table, Harry patiently listened as Will talked his leg off about Spiderman and other superheros. Any person who will listen for that long to my kid is welcome here....who knows if he could hear him! So for now, we're hanging out with Harry - maybe we'll get a book deal out of it! Just kidding...he's one of the "Least of these..." how can you say no to that?

Meeting McLaren

2007-04-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

Mark and I have a fun evening tonight. We get to go to dinner with Brian McLaren! He is coming for a Missional Learning Day tomorrow that is being held at SFC. Karen Ward, the Abbess at Apostle's Church in Fremont came and asked Mark if they could use our facility for this learning day. The focus is on how older urban churches, like ours, remain missional in their neighborhoods. I'll be working in Mosaic tomorrow and sneaking upstairs to hear Brian, and hopefully to catch Mark as he is on a panel with Brian and a couple other people...I'm really excited for the whole weekend!

I read "New Kind of Christian" and "The Story We Find Ourselves In" a couple of years ago and along with Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" - found them life changing....Its funny, because I wasn't shocked by anything I read, like others seem to be...I credit my parents with raising both my brother and I to realize that its okay to have questions about God, they didn't come off like they had it all figured out, so it was okay for us to feel that way too and wonder about how it all works.

There is so much that I loved about these books, but one of my favorite scenes is the "conversion" scene in the coffeehouse. The simple explanation, the simple realization of the "convertee" that he does believe in God and Jesus. It wasn't necessary for him to be in church on Sunday - he didn't have to go down to an altar and say any "magic" words. It was simple, one friend talking to another - sharing each other's lives and experiences. I love that picture and I think this is how it happens more often than not.

I think all too often, we try to fit God into a tidy little box and say, "This is how it all works...this is how we approach God...This is what a relationship with God looks like." Even though I had found the opposite to be true in my life already - it was so nice to hear Christian authors saying it.

I'm really excited to meet Brian and just hope I don't gush too much, or make a fool of myself by crying or something....I'll let you all know how it goes!!!

Dennis

2007-04-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

I made a new friend last night at Mosaic, his name is Dennis. I had seen him at the coffeehouse before but hadn't had the chance to talk with him. Dennis has long grey, crazy looking hair with matching mutton chops, he's missing the bottom half of his teeth - he's not someone I would normally find myself talking with.

He came in last night while Heidi and I were working - it had been a slow night up to that point - he had a couple newspapers (of the 5 that he reads daily, I later learned)...ordered a soy chai and started talking to me. I found out that along with reading the 5 newspapers, Dennis is a Seattle cabbie who once was on the news because he decorated his cab for Valentine's day called it the "love cab" and sang love songs to his passengers, he once got a $450 tip from a faire for singing "Winter Wonderland", he wakes up at 3am most mornings to start his day in order to make ends meet, he would love to be able to come to church sometime but he has to work 7 days a week just to make it. Oh, and the funniest thing - he went to King's Garden Christian School from K-12 - we graduated from the same high school...so we talked about our school - the fact that it used to be a TB santatorium...that the Chemistry classroom was the old morgue...about the underground tunnels that we all used to play in...

I liked Dennis...I was surprised by Dennis...I had things in common with Dennis...I might not have ever found that out were it not for a coffeehouse in the basement of a church...I am amazed by all that God is doing and feel blessed to even be a part.....

Knowledge is Power

2007-04-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Mark and I attended a lecture at Mosaic that was put together by a friend from our preschool. It was by a woman named Amy Lang who has an organization called "Birds + Bees + Kids". First, let me say, I would highly recommend this lecture and speaker to anyone with children, especially kids under 5. Amy is a fun, hip speaker who talks in plain language about kids and how we begin to talk with them about sex.

The first thing that kind of "got" me was when she said that our kids should know the basics of how babies are made by age 5...that stunned me until she reminded us that by that age, they are entering school with older kids who are going to tell them all sorts of things about sex, right and wrong and she reminded us that at that age, its all about the science there is no emotion behind it for them yet...I was quickly reminded of the 7 or 8 year old boy from church that told me how babies were made when I was about 6, and boy was he wrong. I really want my kids to know the "real" scoop, from Mark and I, not some kid on the playground.

She also talked a lot about what is appropriate developmentally for kids to know/play at different ages. This helps to spot signs of sexual abuse that could be happening. I so appreciated this information.

I really loved her style and how she talked bluntly about the "mechanics" but also about values and seemed to respect all different values. Its staggering the statistics of teenage sex, and that scares me to death as my son enters the school system. I really want my kids to feel like they can talk to me about anything, that no subject is off limits, this is how I feel like I was raised - and I want to pass that on.

One of the quotes that stuck with me was that kids really need "200 one minute conversations about sex instead of one 200 minute conversation"...how at this age, they will actually listen to me, where they may not when they are 12 or 13. I so want to instill in my kids to respect themselves and other people so much and that the choices they make when they are young can impact their lives forever - its not just about waiting until marriage because that's what we want them to do, or that's what God would want them to do - but I want everything for them, love, trust, healthy relationships, great educations, wonderful careers, etc and getting someone pregnant, getting pregnant or dying from a disease could seriously affect that. I feel so proud to tell them that their dad is the only man I've ever had sex with, but I also want them to know that I love them no matter what mistakes they might make in their lives. And, that they are worth it, they are worth waiting for that person they will spend their life with, they are worth having healthy relationships, they are worth living a long, healthy life.

Anyway, I really appreciated the evening and again I would recommend this speaker to other parents. It is blunt, but we have to be honest with our kids...they are worth it.

Happy Easter!

2007-04-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for awhile...we've been busy with Mosaic opening and Holy Week. This week is Spring Break and I'm looking forward to a few days staying in PJ's until noon, watching Dora and Spongebob with the kids and then maybe heading off to the park to play...no schedule.

Today is Easter...I have a new friend that I've been spending quite a bit of time with and, on Friday, she asked me what Easter is anyway. It kind of took me back - even though she's from a different country, Iran, I thought everyone knew what Easter was. Its strange how I just assume things like that - how I think we all do. So, after trying to explain the basics without sounding like a complete lunatic - when you step back and listen to yourself explaining the story, it sounds a little crazy...and yet this crazy story and the life of the One the story is about changed history and changed millions of lives, including mine. And for that, I am forever grateful that the Father sent His Son to this world, not to condemn us...but to redeem us!

And, just because they are so cute...here's a picture of my kids on Easter...

To Sleep Over, or Not to Sleep Over.....That is the Question

2007-03-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have a delimma...one of Will's friends from school has asked him to sleep over, repeadedly. So far, I have held it off but his friend's mom is becoming more and more persistent. And neither Mark, nor I is ready for this venture yet.

We actually discussed this months ago, along with playdates and the like....we were both nervous about sending him off to other people's homes, especially school friends that we don't know that well yet. We are perfectly happy to have friends over here, but letting him go is more difficult....so, a couple of months ago, I let him walk to school with his friend and his mother and its gone on from there. He's had playdates, one even all day, at others homes, etc. I had let my guard down. So, when the overnight was mentioned - I was wishy-washy. I didn't stick to the planned answer of "Not until he's 25..." So, now I'm caught having to say something official to my friend, risking offending her - "Its not you, its me...." Haven't we all heard that somewhere before? But, I really mean it in this situation. I really think he would be fine, etc....I'm just not ready for that step in his life - and if I'm 100% not ready, his father is 150% not ready!

So, I was up until 3am this morning stressing about what to say, how to say it. I know I'm overreacting. I keep imagining if the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn't be offended, I would understand....she is a wonderful, caring woman that I really like and I just don't want her to ever feel like it has anything to do with them...So, I am asking for advise. Anyone have any????

One More Step Towards Reality!

2007-03-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

We had our first event at Mosaic yesterday. We are not officially open, but we need to practice our barista skills so we have a few events in the next couple of weeks to allow us to do that. So, yesterday we hosted some local Nazarene pastors for a luncheon. Bree and I we behind the counter, making mostly mochas....it was fun and frustrating all at the same time. There is a lot to think about and when you add in the pressure of someone waiting for their drink, it can be scary. But, we made it! We served everyone and managed to not look too much like some sort of comedy routine!

We spent most of our day yesterday at Mosaic. Its fun to hang out there imagining all of the people who will come and be served. The family room is pretty much all set up, we are going to paint a tree and maybe some flowers on the wall but other than that, its got the padded floor in, the kitchen, slide, books, etc...its really cute! Will and Lora played there most of the evening...I love how much they love it there! Just one more step towards reality!

A First Taste

2007-03-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

The espresso machines were delivered and installed yesterday in Mosaic...so exciting. Mark brought me a latte yesterday afternoon and this morning, Bree delivered me an extra hot, vanilla latte TO MY DOOR! I could get used to having a coffeehouse literally 50 yards from my front door! It was wonderful - I'm going to head down there this afternoon to practice my barista skills...it is really happening.

I'm supposed to be writing an article for the Mosaic newsletter, which is to go out on Monday. My topic is "What are my hopes and dreams for Mosaic?" I don't really consider myself a writer. In fact, this blog is really my first attempt since college at any type of writing...and I don't really think of this as "real" writing - even compared to other blogs. For me, it is more a way to vent, get my thoughts out and keep my friends and family informed on my life. So, I haven't written a word for my article. The blank page intimidates me. I instantly feel insecure, like I have noting relevant to say.

I have many hopes and dreams for Mosaic...In fact, I can't really think about it without tearing up. I flash back to Mark, Heidi and I sitting around our kitchen table around three years ago - we were just talking, sharing our hearts about how we wanted church to be different....how we were tired of the status quo, same-old same-old way of "doing" church....we wanted something radical that got back to the essence of what Christ talked about in the gospels. So someone, not sure which one of us (I'm sure Mark will take the credit), came up with the idea of a coffeehouse. It morphed from a dream to a vision to now, a reality. I envision a place where people, all different kinds of people - young, old, rich, poor, singles, families, kids, grandparents, Christians, non-Christians (whatever that means) could all be together in community. I want a place where people who might never come to a church service would feel comfortable, maybe not even realizing that they are in a church, being loved by Christ. Not in a fake, Amway salesman kind of way - but sincerely, with no expectation of them ever stepping foot in our sanctuary on a Sunday morning. If someone wanted to come on a Sunday, great - but no expectations.

Through some situations out of our control, the coffeehouse will be run on a donation, pay what you can, basis. We are working on the wording of how to convey this idea. A couple of things that people have come up with are "What is it worth to you?" and the word "Priceless" - meaning, we think you are priceless and our products are priceless. I love both of these ideas because I have to constantly evaluate, what is it worth to me? What is this relationship with Christ worth to me? What is living in community worth to me? What are these people that I call my friends and family worth to me? And out of that - How do I show them that they are worth everything to me? How do I treat people to convey that they are priceless? Do I do that at all?

I'm hoping and praying that through this endeavor, we will have an opportunity to express to our friends and neighbors that they are priceless to God and to us...that they are worth being in community with - not for any other reason than that they are human beings, loved by God, created to live in fellowship with Him and others. That and a really good latte...those are just a few of my hopes and dreams for Mosaic.

Trying Something New...

2007-03-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

So I know, its cruel to post about his sister for days and then put up a picture like this...but I thought it was too great. Another picture to save for the wedding slide show....

Lora Glaphre Woodward

2007-03-08T08:39:00.000-08:00

She was born at 8:40pm....after only 6 hours of induced labor, with an epidural for at least 3 of those hours...her father was the first human to touch her. The midwife looked at him and said "Do you want to catch her?" So he did. He wasn't into the whole "cord cutting" thing, but catch her he did. They put her on my stomach, she cried a little, of course she was beautiful. Dark black hair, perfect features, little eyes, tightly shut....She weighed a perfect 7 lbs 7 oz...not too big, not too small. She was perfect.

And she still is, in my estimation. She is funny, smart, beautiful, loving. This morning, I told her "Happy Birthday!" to which she replied, "Happy Birthday to me? To me? Lora Glaphre Woodward?" I said, "Yes, Happy Birthday to you!" and she said "Oh thank you mommy...thank you for saying Happy Birthday!"

So, again, I say....Happy Birthday Lora Glaphre Woodward!

She's Growing Up

2007-03-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

I realize that I've written a lot of posts about my daughter recently, but she's kind of at a pivotal point in her life. I know, she's just turning three, but three can be pivotal. Tomorrow is her last day at school....she has had the same teacher since she was 6 months old and tomorrow is her last day with Mary Ellen. Which is sad in itself, but another subject for another day.

Lora turns 3 on Thursday! I can't believe it! We just walked Will to school and stopped at Starbucks on our way home and she sat with me at a table, drinking her hot cocoa and eating her cookie chatting with me and dancing to the music in the background. I cannot explain to you what a delight she is in my life...both of my children are, but this week is about Lora - Thankfully Will can't read yet! Anyway, I remember holding her at 3AM the night that we got her diagnosis, crying...praying....wondering what life was going to look like...I kept getting this picture of this sad little girl sitting in a corner, quiet, bored....Very quickly, from God, I believe, this sense of peace washed over me and I felt God saying to me, "At three months old, if she is not happy or is hungry or even happy, she lets you know....why would it be any different at three..." But I still wasn't sure what life would look like. But, as I sat with her today at Starbucks talking about the green straws in our drinks and the yummy cookie she was eating and what color cupcakes she wants for her birthday party (pink by the way)...I felt God say to me..."See what I mean?"

Happy birthday Lora....you are a blessing beyond anything I could have ever imagined...

Too Smart for Her Own Good....

2007-02-26T17:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I haven't posted for awhile...don't know what my problem has been. I've been really busy sort of, actually just lazy I think. We heard from the Seattle School District today that Lora does not qualify for Developmental Preschool. This is both a blessing and a curse. I'm very excited that she is not delayed in any areas despite her vision impairment...She will always qualify for vision services and that will begin after her birthday...but, this also knocks her out of qualifying for the Experimental Education Unit at the UofW and that was where we really wanted her to go in the fall....So, I had a mini-breakdown on the phone today with the person at the school district. We have been looking forward to Lora getting into this program and I just sort of had it set in my mind that she would be there next year. So, we start over. We're in that weird place that a lot of middle classers are in...we make too much to qualify for very much help, but not quite enough to pay the incredible preschool prices in our city.

I'm actually considering trying to get her into Co-op for next year. You all know how much I love co-op. But I love Will's teacher and she would be Lora's next year. I talked with her today and she felt like Lora would do great at the co-op next year. This was a switch, because previously when I talked with her, she was not excited about Lora coming there. That was before she had spent any time with Lora, now she seems fine with it. The nice thing is that we know we can afford it. It means committment from me again, but I think I can handle it. Now we just have to get from the waiting list to the class. If this doesn't work out, I have no idea what we will do....she's just too smart for her own good!

On the diet front, I've now lost 21 pounds and 16.5 inches! So that is exciting. I made it through my 37th birthday without doing too much damage. So, onward and downward...

Going Home...

2007-02-06T10:26:00.000-08:00

I think there's a saying somewhere, "You can't go home again..." or something to that effect. Well, I went "home" this weekend...at least to a place that I called home for 20 years. My dad was a pastor my whole life and he pastored the same church for 19 years, which is pretty unusual. This church is very near where Mark and I pastor now, but I rarely make it up there. They've struggled some for a couple of years and honestly, I haven't wanted to go back because it made me sad and no longer felt like "home". But, this weekend, they installed a new pastor and this new pastor asked my parents to come back and pray a prayer of blessing over them as they embark on this new journey. I thought that was a very nice request and so did my parents and they flew up for the weekend. We, of course, had church at SFC on Sunday morning, but we got finished a little early so Mark, the kids and I headed up the freeway a few exits and snuck in the back...after depositing the kids in the nursery, of course. I was immediately greeted by the Brumptons...wonderful people, Jean made baby blankets for both of my kids when they were born. As I sat down and looked around the congregation, I saw some new faces...I didn't know the man sitting next to me or the people directly in front of us...but, then I spotted Cheryl who was my best friend from fourth grade...through most of my school years, she was a bridesmaid in our wedding - I haven't talked to her in at least two years, she lives in Lynnwood. (I'm a horrible friend). Then across the sanctuary, I saw Cinda...my singing buddy. She started coming to our church after I returned from college - that girl can sing and I loved singing with her! Her kids have grown by leaps and bounds - I haven't seen her for a few years either. I saw former Sunday School teachers, Caravan leaders, Youth sponsors and prayer partners.

I saw a few people that I could have done without seeing...when you're father is a pastor - there are some hurts that happen - its funny how time and distance heals some of those things, but not all of them. Also, isn't funny how the people you would rather not talk to want to talk you're ear off while you're trying to get to the friends you really want to see??? There were so many friends to catch up with and not enough time for all of the greetings. We greeted the new pastor, told him we're just down the freeway a few exits...then we had to leave. It was kind of sad because there were so many that I didn't get a chance to catch up with. We got in the car and Mark said, "You are their princess..." He was, of course, joking...but, no matter where I go and no matter how much I love our church now and the people who are now a part of my church community....that place will always be "home" in some sense. Those are the people who loved me through the difficult years, and some of them were pretty difficult...and they did love me through them. I am so blessed, as a pastor's daughter, to have come through the whole experience unscathed...A lot of which I attribute to my parents, but those people get a lot of the credit too. I still love the church, I love being a pastor's wife (most of the time) and they were all a part of my experience. So, I guess what I am saying is that you CAN go home again!

PS - on the diet front...still going strong. Four weeks without cheating. I actually didn't lose anymore pounds this week, down 13 total, BUT I'm down 12.5 inches total! And, I'm expecting my "Aunt Flo" this week, if you know what i mean...

Tired...

2007-01-28T15:20:00.000-08:00

I'm tired today. This week has been long. Actually, the last two weeks have been long. We've had some weird things happen, some hurtful things happen...but, God is also at work in our lives and on our corner in Seattle. Mosaic, a community coffeehouse, is being built - the skeleton of the coffee counter, ramp and stage are up and it is exciting! I can't wait for the opening.

Will was diagnosed with Pneumonia on friday. He's already doing a lot better, but we've kept him in all weekend so I've stayed with him. He's ready to go out and I'm pretty sure he'll go to school tomorrow - or we may all go crazy!

On the diet front, I'm still going strong. I haven't cheated in three weeks! I'm really excited about that. I've had a tiny plateau this week but have lost a total of 12.1 lbs in three weeks and 7 inches total which is exciting too!

Sorry for the boring post....I think I'm just tired.....

The Joys of a Good Apple Cake

2007-01-19T15:36:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm on a diet. That is nothing new for me. What is new for me is that I have been on said diet for almost 2 weeks without cheating! That is new for me. I don't want to go into which diet I am doing because, like Star Jones, I feel it is irresponsible for someone of my fame to push any one diet. At least without compensation - I don't want any of my readers suing me! lol

Anyway, on this diet you are given certain pre-packaged foods and you add your own fresh fruits, veggies and dairy items. It is sort of a lower carb thing and one of the things I haven't had is very much "real" sugar or desserts. Now, I have one of the program's pre-packaged desserts each day and that does help with the cravings. But, if you know me, I like my sweets.

I've taken to enjoying my dessert in the afternoon. I make my non-fat, sugarfree Latte and get out my cookie or biscotti or whatever has been provided for me and have been perfectly happy. Well today, I hit the motherlode of diet desserts. I've had this Apple Cake mix in my cupboard, which is also part of my diet and I've been avoiding it because I had a Chocolate one earlier that wasn't terrific and, my new diet Bulliten Board friends have not been too keen on the Apple Cake either. Today, however, it sounded good. So, I chopped up some fresh apples, put the mix in a bowl along with a teaspoon of Splenda Brown Sugar, some Cinnamon and the water needed for the mix....I poured the batter into my little ramekin and nuked it for 1 1/2 minutes. I took it out, plopped it out on a plate and, while still warm, topped it with some Fat free Cool Whip, sat down with my latte and took a bite and oh my goodness it was heaven! I know, silly but for someone who hasn't had that kind of experience for a couple of weeks and normally really enjoys a good dessert....this was nirvana! It just lifted my mood and made me happy.

The beautiful thing is that I have one more apple cake mix in my cupboard (and I can order more). I think though, I am going to make my other one for my husband tonight. He is on this diet too and I think he would enjoy the treat...that's just the kind of wife I am! Ha, Ha. Plus, he sent me flowers today for no reason......my life is pretty darn good!

Yippee for me!

2007-01-14T17:07:00.000-08:00

In direct contrast to my last post, I'm in a pretty good mood today. Sorry folks, that's how it is when you're dealing with a woman during that time of the month...Now I have to apologize to the women's movement that I just help set back by a year or so...but, its the truth.

I actually really enjoyed this morning's worship service. Which is funny because we had about 20 people with the combo of the weather and the Seahawks playing, but numbers have very little to do with worship. I felt good this morning, I enjoyed the songs that we sang - I especially enjoyed singing with my friends Kathryn and David - you guys are fun and we had some great moments this morning! I know that worship isn't about how good the singing is, but as a singer, when its good, it does help! Anyway, Mark preached well, there were no bloody fights in the foyer afterwords - not that there ever are. Progress on Mosaic, A Community Coffeehouse, is progressing in the basement - we even have the skeleton of a coffee bar built. I'm really excited about what is happening on our corner and I'm sad that I let myself get caught up in some trivial feelings that derailed me from seeing the big picture. Its the whole "forest for the trees things". Thank you to my friends who helped me get out of my blogging funk with their kind words....

Also, I wasn't going to say anything about this because I feel like I'm all talk and no action, but I've actually been on a diet consistently for one week...7 whole days. And, at last weigh in on Friday, I was down 6 pounds! I'm really excited and I don't feel like quitting, which is something. I feel really good, have detoxed from some "bad" things and am on my way down. Maybe I'll try to post each Sunday afternoon on my progress. Like I said, I don't want to be someone who's all talk, but maybe this will be some accountability....so, yippee for me!!

Those Moments

2007-01-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in awhile. To be acurate, I've started two other posts and not finished them. I just haven't felt inspired....

I'm having one of my "I'm frustrated with community" weeks. I have these times when I think it would be really fun if Mark had a "normal" job. When we got married, he had a really fun job. He worked events for a company that did a lot for Microsoft. There were a lot of fun perks with his job...we got SWAG from events, got to go to fun dinners and I even got to stay with him for a week at the Sheraton in downtown Seattle. I love staying in hotels...its something about someone else making my bed.

Our first year of marriage, we popped in and out of church. My parents had just moved, so my dad was no longer my pastor, and we took a few weekends away and went to his parents or B&B's. That was fun. (Of course, I was working too, so we had a lot more money for weekend trips)

If someone at his old work didn't like him, it didn't really affect me. I didn't have to interact with them at all really. I could listen to his stories about conflict, but I didn't have to sit in a pew with them on Sunday while he preaches to them...

Sometimes those feel like the "good 'ol days". I'm tired of community today...I'm tired of feeling judgement from friends, whether real or just percieved judgement, about how I'm raising my kids...I'm tired of silly e-mails that my husband has to "kindly" respond to from well-meaning people, that I take personally but he can let go of so easily...I'm tired of the fact that its Saturday morning and my husband is over at the church undecorating from Christmas, when he should be hanging out with us....I'm kind of in a funk and hope that those who read this will not judge me further for feeling this way.

For the most part, I love what Mark does, the people that we are in community with, the life that we have here on our little corner in Seattle...then there are those moments....hopefully there is grace in those moments...that is what community is about, right?

Mark's in San Diego, Darn him

2007-01-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

Mark is out of town...I don't like it when Mark is out of town. I don't do well by myself. Of course, I'm not by myself. Currently, Lora is climbing all over me singing. By now, on a normal day, Mark would be coming home to pick up the slack for me. He entertains the kids while I make dinner, or order pizza. But, today, he's at a conference in sunny San Diego. I'm trying to be happy for him...he called to tell me how beautiful is hotel room is, he talked about the view, the jetted bathtub, the warm weather. Of course, he said "Wish you were here". Again I'm trying to be happy for him. He doesn't get many opportunities like this.

The worst thing is that I don't do well staying by myself. I get scared at night. Its silly, I know. I'm almost 37 and I've never lived alone. I hear noises at night, sure someone is breaking in. Its good for me to have to be alone with the kids and get used to it. I hope and pray that I can sleep tonight...

I took Lora to school this morning and Will went with me, since Mark's gone. We dropped her off and went to the grocery store, we got back with about 30 minutes left in class. I was so proud of Will, he was so great with the little kids. Most of the kids in Lora's class have some sort of "issue" and he is great with them. He brought a toy over to one other boy and set it down in front of him and said, "See, this is how it works" and proceeded to show him what to do. He is growing up to be such a great kid. He's fun, funny and even kind when he wants to be.

One funny story, he's really into playing guessing games. He loves to make me guess what he wants for a snack or what he wants to play with. So, while my parents were here, we were playing cards and he came up to the table and said, "I have a game. Guess what's in my underwear....It has a hole, pee-pee comes out of it and its short." We died laughing, guessed the obvious answer and he went onto the next thing, "Guess what's in my sleeve...." Kids crack me up.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas All! I am sitting at my house at 10:19 on a Sunday morning. There was no rushing around this morning trying to get to church by 9:00...we didn't have church this morning in lieu of evening vespers at 5:00. A great idea if you ask me. Of course, Mark felt that he needed to go over to church and attend our Korean congregation's service at 10:30...he's so dedicated.

We are relaxing, getting ready for the parents to all arrive today. My parents were supposed to get here on Thursday, but they were supposed to fly through Denver...so, instead, they are arriving late tonight. We are just glad they will make it. Mark's parents are coming around 2:00 pm from Gig Harbor so that will be fun.

My parents surprised us with a piano this year for Christmas! I was so surprised and thankful. We recieved it on Friday and someone has been playing it almost non-stop since. I've been taking lessons again and am so thankful to have it so I don't have to try to find 1/2 or so per week to leave and go practice at the church. I kept having flashbacks each lesson from High School...funnily enough, I have the same teacher....but I would sit down and try to fake my way through my songs, trying to hide the fact that I hadn't practiced as much as I should have. I have matured enough to the point of just looking at Carolyn and saying, "Didn't have much time for practice this week". She is much more understanding than she used to be. Anyway, we are very thankful! Will and Lora will start lessons fairly soon. Of course, we have this idea that Lora, being blind, will be some musical prodigy. She may look at us and say, "I want to play football!" and Will might be a musical genius. But this way, they can take lessons and we can find out. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Will is very excited for Christmas...he is being a very good boy. Mark won't let me threaten him with Santa, he doesn't like that idea...but we do remind him of the haul that is coming and if he doesn't straighten up, WE will not give him any presents. I've been amazed by how he's picked up on the Santa thing, darn that TV, and all the Santas I have around the house. We have tried not to play the idea up too much. We don't really have anything against Santa as an idea. I think the big hang up that we've had, Mark mostly, is the idea that we tell him about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and that they are real and then someday, he learns that they are not so what does that do to his concept of God? We tell him that God is real, you can't see him, etc....how is He different. I don't know, I believed in Santa, etc and I turned out okay....

I was laughing this morning about the poor job that we have done so far of telling the kids about the Nativity story. Last year, my mom sent them the "Little People" nativity set and when we opened it, Will saw the angel and said "Mom, a Fairy!" Well, I thought we had told him a little more this year, but this morning, he was playing with a bunch of little people and animals and he was naming them all including "The Fairy (angel still)" and "Baby Jonah". I'm sure we've told him about Baby Jesus......

Anyway, I pray that you all have a wonderful Christmas with family and friends. Find moments to experience the simple joys...a child's excitement, a great piece of toffee, a carol played on a new piano....remembering the Baby that was born so long ago. Welcome to our world Baby Jesus:

"Tears are falling, hearts are breaking; how we need to hear from God. You've been promised, we've been waiting, welcome holy Child, welcome holy Child.

Hope that you don't mind our manger, how I wish we would have known, but long awaited holy Stranger, make Yourself at home, please make Yourself at home.

Bring Your peace into our violence, bid our hungry souls be filled. Word now breaking heaven's silence, welcome to our world, welcome to our world.

Fragile finger sent to heal us, tender brow prepared for thorn, tiny heart whose blood will save us, unto us is born, unto us is born.

So wrap our injured flesh around You, breathe our air and walk our sod. Rob our sin and make us holy, perfect Son of God. Welcome to our world." Chris Rice

Namaste Ghandi

2006-12-16T16:18:00.000-08:00

Mark and I watched the movie "Ghandi" this afternoon. I had never seen it before and was incredibly moved by the life of this man. He was an amazing human being who stood up for people and urged people to stand up for themselves and others using nonviolent resistance. Much like Dr. Martin Luther King. It was a great movie and I highly recommend it.

There is a word that is used in India and other Eastern cultures that I've always wondered about. The word is "Namaste". It is used as a greeting often said with a bow and hands put together at the person's heart. I wondered what it meant, so I looked it up. There are many meanings, but in a spiritual context, here are a few of the meanings I found:

I salute the Light of God in you.
I bow to the divine in you.
The God in me sees and honors the God in you.
May the God within you, bless you

A beautiful phrase with beautiful meanings, if I do say so myself. Just another example of something that we can learn from other religions...so I say to you all, my friends, with my head slightly bowed towards you and my palms pressed together in front of my chest..."Namaste"

Christmas Time is Here...

2006-11-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

We're watching "Charlie Brown Christmas" this evening. I love Charles Schultz's version of the Christmas story...its so great and it makes me cry every time Charlie Brown asks, "What is Christmas all about anyway" and Linus steps out and starts quoting the well known passage out from Luke's gospel. Its funny, because when I was in 5th grade, we did "Charlie Brown Christmas" in my school, public school. I was Lucy....I know surprising, that someone like me with such a retiring personality was cast as Lucy...its called acting.

Anyway, whenever I watch the cartoon, I'm reminded of that experience, I remember some of the lines and I'm surprised as Linus starts talking that we were able to quote from the Bible in public school. Of course, it was the dark ages...

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas this year. I was talking with a friend the other day about presents, buying them, not buying them, what to do. Everyone that we buy for has everything that they could ever want or need and more. Mark and I have talked seriously about donating to Heifer International in everyone's name...buying various bunnies, chicks, geese, bees, etc and calling it a day. I'm still not sure what we are going to do.

I'm torn. I completely agree that Christmas has become something that I don't think it was intended to be. It is commercialized and every year I stress out over what to buy for everyone and I hate that. There are so many people in the world that need so much....but, I also think that honoring the people I love in my life is important, showing them that I thought of them is nice, and putting myself aside and thinking of them is good too. I want it to be different, definately...but I don't know if that means not buying presents for my loved ones. I fear that if we just decided to donate, across the board....for me, it might be a cop out. I fear that if I decide to do that it will be out of laziness. I don't know if my motives are pure.

I wonder, for me, if the greater gift would be to actually THINK about my loved ones, try to find something (even something small) that they would ACTUALLY like. Not just going down the list and quickly getting something just because it is expected but to actually think about the person and honor them with something that lets them know I actually thought about them. I don't know...its just what I've been pondering. You may all get a goat or actually part of a goat, because a whole goat is really expensive. I guess I just keep thinking that sometimes I'm not even very good at putting my families and loved ones needs above mine, let alone the rest of the world, maybe Christmas would be a good time for me to show them that I do appreciate and love them, even if that means a hand knit scarf, a CD I really thought they would enjoy or a tin of ginger snaps from Williams Sonoma....something to think about.

Snow, Snow, Snow....

2006-11-27T23:04:00.000-08:00

Yes, we have snow in Seattle. I love snow. I reminds me of being a child, waiting to see if we have to go to school...Mark took the kids out tonight to play and they loved it. I've been sick for a few days, so I stayed in. Which is another reason that I'm happy about the snow, I just saw that Seattle schools are closed tomorrow, which means that Will doesn't have school, which means that I don't have to work in his class tomorrow, or try to find a replacement since I've still got a fever. Yeah snow day!

Co-op Revisited

2006-11-14T12:48:00.000-08:00

So, I had a "situation" in co-op preschool yesterday. Will threw a fit. We were getting ready for snack and from the sink, washing their hands, all the kids in my small group started yelling, "I want to pass out the cups! I want to pass out the napkins!" etc. Aparently, Will was one of the ones who had requested passing out the cups. But, BB got to the table first, I wasn't thinking, and stupidly let her pass out the cups. So, when Will returned to the table, he freaked out about said cups already being passed out, threw himself on the floor and proceeded to scream, "I said I wanted to pass out the cups!!!" Because I could think of nothing creative to do or say, I stupidly said, "I'm sorry Will, BB got here first and I let her pass out the cups. You can pass them out next time." To which he screamed again and cried. At this point, the teacher interviened, giving him two choices. To either join his group for snack or sit on the couch in the libarary. My strong-willed son stubbornly sat for the whole snack on the couch, never even turning to look at me. Every once in a while, Teacher Kris would warn him that snack would be over soon and that once we went downstairs to play, he would be out of luck. He still sat.

UNTIL snack was over and we were cleaning up. Suddenly, he decides he wants a snack, of course. So, I sit with him on the couch explaining that snack is now over, he missed his opportunity and needed to just join his friends downstairs. To which he wailed, crying "I just want my snack!!!" I was at a loss, anytime I mentioned the words snack or downstairs, he would wail louder. So, I stubbornly decide that he just needs to go downstairs, that seeing his friends playing would wake him up to the fact that he was being silly. So I pick up his suddenly rigid body as he screams louder and I am saying, "This is enough. It is time to play." I get him to the top of the stairs and can no longer hold him, since he has gone limp and seemingly weighs about 200 pounds, so when I drop him, he takes off running back to his couch. I am exhausted, go downstairs to Teacher Kris, feeling like a failure and tell her, "I give up!"

So, she goes upstairs, plays good cop, and gives him a snack. While she is gone, a few other weird things happen with the kids downstairs..we end up back upstairs and my son looks at me, happy as a clam, and says, "Teacher Kris got me some snack!" I feel like a failure and she looks like a hero.

Its the weirdest thing every time Monday comes around...I dread going to this classroom. Its like every insecurity I have ever had from Jr High to my life now, as a parent, comes to the surface and I am beaten by a room full of 4 year olds. First of all, it is a well known fact that your child behaves worse in these situations when you are present. Aparently, the days that I am not there, Will is the picture of good behavior, charming the pants off of everyone. I arrive and he turns into Damian, complete with 666 on his forehead. The other problem is that I realize, I love my children, but other people's children, not so much. I know, it makes me a horrible person, but I think, ever since I've had my own children, I just don't have the time or energy for anyone else's children. I'm kind and can appreciate their cuteness, etc but it just doesn't feel the same as it did before Will and Lora came onto the scene. I just don't think I'm the "Co-op Type". My kids eat sugar, we don't but only organic, we watch cartoons, yes even "Tom and Jerry", I spank my kids sometimes. I feel like a failure when I leave this place. But, my problem is, Will loves it. He loves the class, he loves the teacher, he loves the other kids and parents. He left at 12:45 today with his new friend Paya and Paya's mom to walk to school together and she will bring him home at 4:00. He loves walking to school with Paya and his mom. I could never take that away from him.

So, what do I do with my insecurity?? Just buck up and suffer through Mondays? Convince Mark to get a TB test done so he can at least alternate Mondays with me? Decide already at this age, to homeschool Will just so I can avoid teachers and other parents that make me feel like a failure? I don't know what to do....Any ideas?

On a totally unrelated note.....Lora and I are watching Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and she said to me, "Mommy, let's watch Charlie Brown Pirates"...umm, do you mean Pilgrims? Maybe she's not too far off!

Studio 60....

2006-11-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have added a new show this season. Its "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip", horrible title, great show. It is by the same people who brought us "The West Wing", which I never really got into. I don't know if I'm not smart enough, or just not into politics or what, I just never really got it. This show is about TV, I know TV. Its a great look at the interworkings of a television show, it moves fast and its funny. The humor is sometimes dry and sometimes over-the-top. I just like it.

There is one interesting wrinkle in the show. It is about the making of a show much like "Saturday Night Live"...and they have a Christian character on the show. She is interesting, normal and not one-dimensional. They show her standing up for what she believes while also finding the sketches they do about conservatives funny. She's able to laugh at herself, which is good. On tonight's episode, she has an interesting thing happen....she is in trouble with liberals because of some comments she made in a magazine article and even ends up getting a death threat for her views, but at the same time is cancelled from a "Women of Faith" type of tour for not being conservative enough.

I can relate to her, I feel like I'm constantly straddling that fence between the right and the left. I'm not sure where I belong...just trying to follow Jesus and love people and by doing that, risking hatred from both sides. I still choose to "live in the tension" as I love to say. I think, in this case the middle is the place to be.

On another, totally unrelated note, Christopher Guest...maker of such movies as "Waiting for Guffman", "Best in Show" and "A Mighty Wind" is coming out with a new movie, opening this Friday. Its called "For Your Consideration", its about a little independent movie that starts getting Oscar buzz and how that affects the cast, etc. Its in his typical mockumentary form, with the usual cast of characters and it looks hilarious...in case you need something to do this weekend.

Fightin' Words

2006-11-06T17:35:00.000-08:00

I know, everyone's talking about it...Ted Haggard. The fallen leader of the evangelical church. I don't want to just be another one out there talking about him...but it makes me sad. It makes me sad when anyone is unfaithful to the covenant they made. It makes me sad to see a family damaged by deceit. As a fellow evangelical, it makes me sad for the jokes and jabs that inevitably follow. And I get it. I make jokes too. Have you ever noticed though, its like with your family. You can say anything about your own family, but when someone who is not a part of your family, even an in-law says something about your family...those are fightin' words. My son's teacher made a joke today about the Ted Haggard situation. And it stung. The funny thing is, before this, I wouldn't really have identified myself with him. I think of myself as more "progressive" than him. Maybe not so black and white. But when someone outside my circle of evangelicals, an atheist, nontheless made a crack at him, I felt it in my heart. In fact, it made me a little mad.

Isn't that weird? I don't know this man and frankly, when I saw him on 60 Minutes not long ago, there was much that I didn't agree with him about and I found him a little scary. A little too "right-wing" gays are evil for me. But, when someone that I see as even more of an outsider cuts him down, I feel this instant kinship with him. Maybe its the Jesus in both of us. Because even though he's fallen and made these huge mistakes, I think he loves Jesus. He got off track somewhere along the line. Maybe it was something he struggled with his whole life and just couldn't resist any longer. Kind of how I feel every time I eat another piece of candy corn.

Not that I'm equating my eating habits to trysts with male prostitutes...but don't we all have things that we struggle with? Maybe my sins aren't so public or don't have the ramifications that his have, especially to his family. But, who am I to cast stones in his direction? He receives the same grace that I receive and neither of us deserves it.

Halloween, Consumerism and "The Red Tent"...random

2006-11-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

Well, Halloween is over for another year. I really like Halloween. For one thing, I love candy. I'm a horrible mom because I let my kids eat candy. I try to monitor, but I'm not good at it. Anyway, they were darling as a Doctor and Dorothy. Will chose the Doctor costume, but we forced Dorothy on Lora. They've never even seen the movie, but with a dog that looks a lot like Toto, it was a natural. On a somewhat unrelated note, it is raining today and I got Lora saying "I'm melting, I'm melting"...as we were walking back to the car from dropping Will off from school. Kids crack me up....

Something not as funny about kids in general and mine specifically...they are consumers. A friend brought us the Toys-r-us catalogue last night and Will has been studying it ever since. He calls catalogues and such his "newspapers" which is funny because we don't even subscribe to the paper. Anyway, he is intently scoping out every item and is careful to note the age appropriateness of each toy. The funny thing is that he doesn't understand the "and up" concept. So any thing that says "3 and up" he thinks he can't have. He gets really upset if he sees something he likes and it doesn't say "4 and up". Who is raising this consumer??? I blame the grandparents! Not really, I'm only kidding...don't quit buying the kids things based upon one misplaced comment.....

On a completely unrelated note, I just finished a great book. We are studying Genesis in our Tuesday morning Bible study and just recently were talking about the Jacob/Leah/Rachael story, which I posted about earlier. But, out of that, a friend recommended "The Red Tent" by Anita Diamante. It tells the story from the perspective of Jacobs only daughter, Dinah. It is definately fiction with a lot of license taken....but who knows, we are given such sketchy details, maybe she's right on the money. The book traces Dinah from a young girl all the way to death. I love the significance of the Red Tent, not just as a place that the women went at "that time of the month" but the way that it was used as a place for the older women to teach the younger women about life, love, family and even spiritual things. There is a lot of idol worship, the author really takes the stance that Jacob's wives did not only worship his God and were influenced by the gods of their father. Which I think was probably the case. So, I highly recommend the book. One warning...there is some sex, the aformentioned idol worship and some liberty taken with biblical stories. So, if that offends, don't read it....But, I think she has some great perspectives on women's lives in that time period, and I couldn't put it down!

Transitions

2006-10-29T22:30:00.000-08:00

We had our big "transition" meeting for Lora last week. Mark and I met with four people from the Seattle School District and they asked us a bunch of questions about Lora and her development. The day that she turns three, she is out of Boyer, which has been our "safe" place for over two years now. I actually think this is why I had my mini break-down a couple of weekends ago. It was our first meeting about Lora's education that her teacher Mary Ellen wasn't present for. I was dreading it.

Its a really long story, but the meeting was good. We brought Lora with us and of course, she charmed them. The people were nice, not the "big, bad" school district like I expected. I again came away from the meeting realizing what an incredible little girl we have been blessed with. She has so far exceeded her original diagnosis. I am so thankful for her! And yet, I'm nervous about leaving Boyer and every time I think about it, I still get teary. We have some big transitions ahead of us, but I'm sure we'll make them and she will continue to become the incredible little person that God is helping her to become.

A Sick Day

2006-10-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, its been a week since my last post. This has been a crazy week, with preschool, visiting pumpkin patches, Living Room last night and one sick two year old. Lora has been really congested and even threw up last night while we had company. That is fun, especially with an audience.

So, I slept with Lora in Mark and my bed all night and she coughed on and off from 11 until 2 am and then woke up again at 6:51 and started coughing again. I slept well. So in direct contrast to my last post....today I need a break from my kids.

I rented the first season of "Gilmore Girls" from Netflix. I've watched the first two dics and I really like the show. It appeals to the High School girl in me. The mother and daughter have this banter that is great, it is nothing like a normal conversation between a mother and daughter. It is too perfect and thought out, with funny and smart one-liners galore. Its very scripted, but who cares? Its fun...so I sat and watched two episodes of it this afternoon on my lap-top and pretty much let the kids watch TV all afternoon....Its a sick day. I fed them and broke-up fights, but other than that, pretty much left them to their own devices. Good thing Will knows how to work the DVD player! Otherwise, his day would have sucked! I was a little concerned when he came in today and said to me "Mommy, God has a new Bible and its called Thomas." He's talking tank engines, not disciples.

Its amazing what a week can do!

This is my job...and I love it

2006-10-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

So, here are some snippets of conversations that either Mark or I have had with the kids during the past couple of weeks. Some are funny, some are poignant, some might bring a tear to your eye….I’ve just been thinking about my “job” this week and I truly love it, most of the time. I realize how blessed I am to have a husband and kids and to be able to be at home with them during this time in their lives. I complain about it sometimes, and its not always easy…but when it comes down to it, I love it. So, here are some snapshots from my past couple of weeks:

1. Lora and I sitting on the couch, she is picking her nose and eating the boogers. I say to her, “Lora, don’t eat boogers, that’s icky”. She says back, “Mommy, I’m not eating the icky ones, just the good ones.”
2. Will said to me today, “Mommy, when I eat my boogers it makes me cough.”
3. Mark was putting Will in bed the other night, he was scared to stay in bed by himself, so Mark told him that God is with him all the time. Will said, “No, God lives at Blake’s house.”
4. Another night, I was putting Will in bed and again he said he was scared. I told him he wasn’t alone because God was with him. He said, “But I can’t see God, where is He?” and I said, “No, He’s invisible, but He’s everywhere.” Lora was in bed with Will because we were reading books. So she proceeded to go upstairs and said to Mark in her spookiest voice…”Daddy, we have to hide” Mark said “Why?” and she replied, still spooky, ‘We have to hide, because God is coming! God is coming and He’s everywhere!” Mark said, “Lora, we can’t hide from God” to which she responded “I can!” and she buried her head under a pillow. (we started watching more Veggie Tales the next day, we needed help with the “God” concept!)
5. Mark was driving in the car with Will, Lora and GG. Will was looking out the window at the trees turning colors and he said “Daddy, the trees are so pretty!” so Lora asked, “Daddy where are the trees?” Mark responded, “They’re right out your window sweetie, can you see them?” and she said, “No Daddy, are they beautiful?” Thankfully GG was there and just started describing them to Lora in detail as Mark felt the knife go in his chest and the tear trickle down his cheek.
6. One last one, Lora and I laying in bed the other morning, she is poking herself in the eyes. I say to her, “Lora, don’t poke yourself in the eyes!” she responds, “Mommy, I poke myself in the eyes to help me see better.” I say, “Well, did it help?” She says, “No!” and just goes on talking to me about something else.

I learn so much from my kids about so many things in life. They have helped to shape my ideas about God and helped me to really understand what I do and don’t believe about God. There is nothing to keep you in check like having to explain “lofty” ideas to small kids. My explanations to them have to be simple, but that’s not a bad thing. Maybe my faith doesn’t need to be as complicated as I’ve made it. Lora has taught me already about adapting to situations. Even at two she can seemingly say, “this sucks” and then just get on with playing. I don’t do that very well, I like to wallow and hold onto things for awhile before I get back to playing. So all this to say, I love my “bosses”, they are funny, cute, frustrating, silly, sometimes gross, loving, simple and complicated all at the same time. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Although, right at the moment, I wish Will would just leave the dog alone!!!

Obama for President...and pictures of Zoe

2006-10-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

So, my husband has just peed his pants because I am talking about politics on my blog...he gets nervous when I start talking politics. I think he's afraid of alienating people. Who knows...anyway I watched part of two interviews with Barak Obama over the past couple of days, I saw he and he wife interviewed last year by Oprah also and I have to say, I'm impressed. I just like his calming presence. And I love his wife. They just impress me all the way around. Now, mind you, I haven't read his two books, yet. But I plan to. I don't totally know everything about his politics, but I have a good feeling about him. That might not sound like a good reason to vote for someone for president but, I take my "feelings" about people pretty seriously. I think I'm a pretty discerning person and I like him. That's all I'm going to say until I read his books, so maybe I'll say more later.

On a totally different note, I'm posting some pictures of our new puppy Zoe. We got a new camera because our other one broke and I haven't posted any pictures for awhile and felt like my blog looked boring...so here are some pictures. She's really cute and I really love her this morning because she slept all night in her crate last night....gotta love that!

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

2006-10-15T16:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've had ENOUGH with serious blogs...after my near emotional breakdown over the last couple of days I need to just talk about nothing or at least nothing too serious.

It is Sunday afternoon....the Seahawks won a close game, which I didn't get to watch because I was at church and then my kids were watching cartoons, but the did win. I'm sitting in my pajammas, its cold outside, Mark is downstairs snoring and the kids and I are watching Spongebob.

I have to admit, I love Spongebob. He is one of the only purely good characters on TV. Spongebob has no gile, he is kind to everyone, even Squidword. The show makes me laugh and after crying for 2-3 days for no real reason, I feel like I need to laugh...Thanks Spongebob! You're the best!

PS - Does anyone have a favorite Spongebob episode? Mine is when Patrick and Spongebob end up as slaves on the Flying Dutchman's ghostly ship and they have to help him scare people...its hilarious. ("How does he do that???It is still a mystery")

A Little Over Two Years Ago.....

2006-10-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

I experienced something a little over 2 years ago that has so affected my life, that I don't know if I will ever fully recover from it. Mark experienced it too, and even though he is the only other person in the world who can truly understand my feelings, I can only speak for myself. We took our 3 month old daughter into a doctor's office perfectly normal and came out with a blind girl. At least that was our perception. I think we both thought there was possibly something wrong, but neither of us was prepared for the Dr. to look us in the eyes and say,"This is a very serious, situation that cannot be corrected by surgery or glasses. Your daughter is blind." The main thing that I remember is that the door to the examination room was wide open to the lobby. I was sitting there, trying to hold myself together as I felt my world falling apart. The only thing that the Dr could confirm to us that day was that Lora could see light, beyond that, we didn't know. We didn't know at that point whether she had some other syndrome that could involve a heart defect or mental retardation. The only thing we knew is that we walked in there with a normal, healthy daughter and were leaving with a blind daughter.

Now, as most of you know, the reality of her situation has ended up being so much better than what we thought it would be. God is helping Lora to use what she has to the fullest and we have seen miracles such as color vision that we never expected. And, I don't mean to harp on her situation or keep bringing it up, as I know there are much more pressing matters in the world. But this one day, one moment actually, in that Dr's office has seemingly forever shaped my world and how I relate to God and especially how I relate to other Christians.

Because Lora's situation has turned out to be so much better than we expected...I go along feeling like I am no longer affected by it. But then, out of the blue, I read something or hear something that someone has written or said and it sends me into a tailspin. I read a comment on a blog today that gave me such a visceral, physical reaction that I didn't know what to do. I don't want to go into the comment, it is irrelevant, it is my reaction to the comment that I am concerned with. This is a person who I have never met, probably will never meet. He is probably close to 15 years younger than me, has no influence over my life in any way, other than what I allow him to have. As a side note, it is amazing to me how powerful words can be, which is a good thing to remember. But since this moment in my life a little over 2 years ago, I cannot trust my reactions to things. A comment about providence or God allowing things in our lives, or things being a result of sin on our lives, etc can send me down an emotional spiral or on an angry tirade. I am by nature, a pretty laid-back, easy going person...but everything changed in a moment a little over two years ago.

I remember in the months after, hearing from people who had heard from other people how well Mark and I were "handling" our situation. I would respond "Well, those people aren't with us 24 hours a day". I never wanted people to feel like we didn't grieve, or that we still don't. I wonder what those people would say if they could see me now, sitting here at 3:42 on a Thursday afternoon, almost 2 1/2 years later crying and typing over a comment on a blog that sent me into an emotional tailspin and a venting tirade, made by a person I have never met.....Is there hope for me? I think so...I think this is what a real relationship with God looks like. It isn't always pretty or perfect. Its a journey. A rocky one sometimes, but a journey nonetheless. I'm glad I'm on it, most of the time. I think its better than the alternative. Imagine the mess I would be without God...okay, don't imagine it.

Manipulation

2006-10-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Mark and I are leading a study of Genesis on Tuesday mornings at our church. Really Mark is leading and I just make soup...we call it "Souper Study". It really is a nice time. Its mostly the retired folks, plus a couple of "younger" people. But it is a way for us to connect to these people and it has been fun to just go through Genesis, verse by verse. It really is a crazy book...it rivals any modern-day soap opera that I have ever watched for family dysfunction, greed and manipulation.

We were in chapters 29 and 30 this morning. It is the section where Jacob is fleeing his family after cheating Esau out of both his birthright and a blessing from Isaac...Anyway, he meets and falls in love with Rachael...she is technically his cousin, but that is pretty normal for the day. Anyway, he makes a deal with Rachael's father to work 7 years for her and on their wedding day, the father switches Rachael for her less attractive sister Leah...you know the story. The part that I was facinated by today was after this, where Jacob is now married to both women and they are attempting to bear him children. Leah is fruitful and bears him 4 sons, hoping that this will win Jacob's love...Rachael is seemingly barren so she gives Jacob her maidservant to "lay" with and the maidservant bears him a couple of kids, Leah fights back by giving him HER maidservant and then finally, Rachael bears him a son, Joseph and we all know how that ends up. Its just this huge manipulation by Rachael and Leah...all for the love of Jacob. And yet, God ends up using these 12 sons to form the 12 tribes of Israel...redeeming our stupid choices yet again.

Then, I was talking with Lora's teacher the other day and we were talking about God...she is Jewish and we were talking about radicals in both of our faiths. And she said, "Did you know that there are fundamentalist Christians PAYING Jew's way to move back to Israel because they believe that the only way Christ will return is for all the Jews to be back in Israel?" I had heard of such things, and at the time was mainly glad that she thought of me as different from said fundamentalists, since I am...but Mark used that as an example of people trying to manipulate God today.

Do we really think we CAN manipulate God? Can we? What is prayer if it is not us trying to manipulate God into doing what we want? Someone at our Bible study said that regardless of our manipulations, God will carry out His plan...does that mean that my prayers have no influence with God?

I am also amazed by God's patience with his creations. We screw things up over and over and he continues to redeem our choices for His good...I guess that is free will at its best. Just some fragmented thoughts to think about.......

Everything

2006-10-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot of time today...that is what my day has been like. I went to school with Lora this morning, had a one hour break until I had to go to school with Will. Went to the grocery store after school with Will, came home, had dinner and now I'm off to my monthly Co-op meeting from 6-9 PM.

But, I listened to a song today that reminded me that everything in my life is Gods. Everything I have, everything I am, everything I do...It is by one of my favorite artists, Ginny Owens. I was drawn to her initially because she is blind, but I have fallen in love with her voice and lyrics. I tried to get them all down here, but I forgot one little stanza. I think you will all get the idea:

I Bring it to You by Ginny Owens:

My thoughts and meditations, my loudest declarations,
My every inclination I bring to You.

My faith and my religion, My folly and my wisdom,
My heart’s many dimensions, I bring to You.

Everything I have, You have given me.
So take this life, I give it back.
Make it all that it should be.

My search for satisfaction, my thoughts and distractions

My words and my actions, I bring to You.

My journey and my story, My failure and my glory.
And all the dreams I dream for me, I give to You.

Everything I have, You have given me.
So take this life, I give it back.
Make it all that it should be.

Yesterday, my future, what’s certain and what’s unsure.
And all that’s in between, I give to You.

All the see and the unseen, I give to You.My everything, oh I will bring, to You.

Living Room

2006-10-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

We have a great new group at our church that I really love. We're calling it "Living Room". We meet each Thursday night at our house. We pick a meal each week that we make together, then we talk both about our live and about a topic that has been chosen each month. This month is grace. Anyway, it is a lot of fun and, I think, necessary for community.

Its amazing how much closer I feel to these 15 or so people now when I see them on Sunday mornings, just because we've spent Thursday evenings togethaner. There is something about being in the kitchen, cooking and sharing a meal together that is bonding. I guess its no coincidence that Jesus shared table fellowship with his friends...It is interesting the things that I've learned about myself through this. One big one is that its really hard for me to let other people help me in my own home. I'm not sure where I got this, but I think I came by it honestly.... Anyway, its really hard for me when people get here to assign jobs and let them help. I noticed it about myself before we started Living Room, but this situation has really brought it to light.

At first, I told myself that I just like others to feel comfortable in my house and that they shouldn't have to do anything, etc. But, I've come to realize that its more about me and my agenda. I have certain ways that I like things done, at least in my mind, and I'm not sure that someone else will do it the way I had planned. So, Living Room has been good for me even just in allowing people to help me in my own kitchen. Thanks friends!

PS - further to my post from yesterday reagarding the "New Guy". I was wrong, it is next Wednesday, so I'll just copy that post for then! :)

The New Guy

2006-10-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

Today, when I take Lora to school, we are meeting a new person in our lives. I think his name is Dan and he works for WA Services for the Blind. When we first got Lora's diagnosis, we met a man named Scott who worked for them, he was our go-to guy for any questions we had. He really was the liason between the school district and us, but he would let us ask him any question about anything relating to Lora's blindness. He was this great, fun guy who was in charge of these wonderful programs that help blind kids transition from high school to college, etc. Well, he is not dead, but he did move and this new guy is his replacement. We haven't needed his services for awhile, but he was a great resource.

So, I'm nervous about meeting this new guy. What will he be like? He could possibly be in our lives for the next 20 years, all the way through college...Its weird too, because I forget sometimes that Lora is blind. (You who know her, know what I mean) These kind of meetings slap me in the face again with the "facts".

I so appreciate her teacher setting this up. I think she sees so much potential in Lora that she wants to give her every advantage that she can. We all know she is going to be a Rhodes scholar someday.....and this new guy could factor into her life in education. He will be our/her advocate with the school district, will help her apply and transition into college, and even may be the person to help her find her first job. So, here's to the "new guy", I hope you're nice!

The Perfect Seattle Day

2006-10-02T17:33:00.000-07:00

In direct opposition to my mood yesterday, I am in a pretty good mood today. A lot of that has to do with the fact that today was the perfect fall Seattle day...I love Seattle in the fall. I'm not really a hot weather girl so a day like today where it is clear and the temperature gets to about 63 is perfect for me.

I worked at Will's school today and we played outside for awhile. I just stood on top of the jungle gym, since that was my designated spot, and thought about nothing really. It was so beautiful and peaceful, even amidst the screaming and laughing of the kids, I just felt peaceful.

I want to go out and buy pumpkins to carve and apples to caramel and candy corn to eat. I've been thinking about Halloween costumes today. (I'm looking for a Dorothy costume for Lora and either a scarecrow or tin man for Will, then we thought Zoe could be Toto since she sort of looks like her anyway.) Just a good day....

Community Sucks

2006-10-01T15:05:00.002-07:00

I don't want to be part of a community today. Its too hard. People are unkind. I have such a hard time giving grace to people who are mean. We've been talking about grace in Living Room on Thursday nights and I've come to realize that the people I have the most trouble giving grace to are the ones in my own community. I don't do well when someone hurts me or hurts a person that I love....I guess that is the true test of grace. And today, I don't have much! :)

What is Normal?

2006-09-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking today about the word "normal"...what does it mean? Who and what does it encompass? Did I spell encompass correctly? These are my questions....this comes out of a conversation I had with a few people the other day. I was talking to them about Will's new preschool and how I love how diverse it is. We have a child from Bangladesh, one from Persia, Jewish kids, Christian kids...you get my drift. I was just going on about how beautiful that is to me and how I love it because, other than the parents at my kids schools, I don't have any friends outside of church, etc. I spent a long time the other day with my Persian friend who has just lived in Japan for 11 years amazed by her diversity and the fact that her 4 year old is currently learning English as his third language. People are amazing! So anyway, after the comments about the Iranian possibly being a terrorist (said in a joking manner, but still..) one of the people commented - "I think I just like normal people best" and the other person said "You're probably one of the only normal ones left". I had to stop the conversation right there as these were all people older than me and I didn't want to get into an argument with them that would be disrespectful. The only thing I said was that I often like the people I meet outside of the church better than some that I meet inside, they are often nicer.

Anyway, after I picked my jaw up off the floor I started thinking about the word "normal"...what is normal and who decides what is normal? By our Judeo-Christian standards, I have a very normal family. Both sets of parents are Christian, still married, grandparents were all Christian and married until death. I am married with two kids (a boy and girl even). But if you look closely in my family you will find alchoholism, people who have had brushes with the law, disfunctional relationships. By the world's standards, I am not a "normal" weight...I have a blind daughter, who is not normal. As a side note, in the circles we travel in with Lora, you would never say "normal" or "abnormal" - it has become an offensive word.

Jesus wasn't considered "normal" by His days' standards and he definately wouldn't be by ours...He was homeless, ran around with a bunch of men, hung out with criminals, told people to sell everything they had and give it to the poor, chastised the established church for being hypocritical, used confusing stories to teach truths, loved everyone, even the lepers and outsiders. Need I go on?

I don't know what the standards are for normal, but I doubt that any of us meets them. We have all been affected by sin in our world, we have all experienced tragedy and pain, we all have areas of abnormality in our lives. All of these things have shaped us into the wonderful, diverse population that we are. So maybe the next time we see our neighbor, who has a combination of bright orange and dark black hair in preparation for Halloween...instead of avoiding her like I did the other day, we (I) can say "HI" and try to get to know her. Who knows what I could learn from her and maybe she could even learn something from me....or maybe she's just a really nice person. I may never know.

Puppy Fever

2006-09-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

I want a puppy. I know, its nuts. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I have no business getting a puppy, but I want one. I found the cutest puppy I have ever seen on the internet. It is a Lhasa Apso/Miniature Schnauzer mix. I'm in love, my heart hurts it is so cute. I've already named her Zoey. I even e-mailed the lady that breeds them, knowing I don't have the money...I'm crazy in love.

I even tried to convince Lora tonight to tell her GG on Saturday when she sees her that she really wants a puppy. I am evil, but I'm in love. Mark is convinced that if we get a puppy he will end up taking care of it...I assure him, like a child with a parent that I will take care of her, feed her and take her out to go potty. He doesn't believe me, and I must admit, I don't have a great track record...But this one is really cute! I want to be one of those crazy women who takes her dog with her everywhere in her purse...maybe I am sad because my babies are growing up and don't need me as much anymore....there is no analyzing it...I'm in love.

Anybody know a way I can make a little money quick? Legally???

Scary Church

2006-09-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

I went to a wonderful church service today...we sang some great songs, read some great passages of scripture and heard a great word from God...through my husband. We started a fun new kid's ministry, have a great nursery and fun people of all ages that meet each week together. We are all of about 60 people, if you don't include the two other language groups that meet in our building. I don't know why people aren't flocking to our building - I know it isn't about numbers but I think what we have is really great...a little known secret in the greater Seattle area.

Then, I read a blog today from a local pastor - he pastors a very large church in our area - let's call it "Fars Fill". He is extreme in his fundamentalism, believes that women were created "equal but with distinctly different roles from men in the church and home", does not believe in women being ordained, discredits what he sees as mainline protestant churches at every turn. And, for some unknown reason, people flock to his church. I don't get it. I personally think he's scary. I was talking recently talking to a guy from a church in West Seattle that was purchased by "Fars Fill". This was a great emerging church that had a wonderful cafe in its basement that was reaching out to the community, inviting them to play music, hang out and eat with them. He said that "Fars Fill" closed the church down after they purchased it in order to "ready" it for Sunday mornings.

They also closed the cafe and will be eventually reopening it as a space for their church people to use - not as much the community. I just don't get it. Someone explained to me once that young people of my generation and the one after me are flocking to fundamentalism because they are looking for boundaries in their lives, they grew up with parents who didn't give them boundaries so they are searching for them at every turn. Maybe that's it. People want absolutes, lists to follow, black and white. If only life were that easy.

The only absolute that I'm positive of is that God is love, He sent Jesus to prove to us how much He loves us. Jesus told us to love God with everything we are and to love others as much as we love ourselves. In some ways, that is more difficult to do than to follow a list of rules...but if we could do it, truly love others as much as we love ourselves maybe, just maybe we could make a difference in our world. Or, we can sit in our scary churches with our list of rules that people have to submit to before we will let them join the club. WWJD?

Stress has a new name....Co-op

2006-09-10T16:00:00.000-07:00

I'm stressed today....in fact, so stressed that my chest sort of hurts. Is that bad? Last week on Wednesday I went to Co-op to help clean the classroom and was rooked into being Secretary of the co-op board. At least I'm not scrapbooker anymore which is good since the zoom on our digital camera is broken. ANYWAY, then on Thursday we took Will to meet his new teacher, who he loves. Then, on Friday I went to North Seattle Community College for two hours to learn how to be the secretary of the Co-op board. I mainly learned that most of these moms are way more serious about co-op than I am; strangly most of them didn't pick it because its cheaper than any other preschool I've ever heard of; and that I know nothing about co-op or how to be the co-op board secretary. I left feeling a little overwhelmed but a little more informed to.

Then, I got home to an e-mail from the co-op reminding us about getting our TB test done, turning in Will's immunization record, getting together his earthquake preparedness kit together and filling out two other forms that we haven't done yet. SO, tomorrow morning at 8:00 I am running up to the Community Health Department to have my TB test done, coming home to get Lora ready for school, Mark and Will are going to drop us off at school and run to Group Health to get a copy of his immunization records. (We seriously considered filling out the part on the form that says that we didn't have him immunized because of religious reasons, but figured since he's already gone through the pain he may as well get credit). Then, Mark will pick us up at noon and I have to be at Will's school by 1:15 for orientation. This is orientation for me, to learn how to be a parent volunteer in the class.

Then, on Tuesday night we have another orientation from 7:00-9:30 for which I just found out I'm supposed to bring snacks and speak on three topics as secretary...two of which I know nothing about at this point, plus take minutes at the meeting.....This is after I've made soup for 12-15 people for our Bible Study on Tuesday morning...Then, finally, Will gets to start school on Wednesday afternoon and I'm not sure, but I think I have to volunteer in his class on that day, even though Monday is normally my day.

I just needed to write that all out and complain about it a little bit. Mark keeps telling me not to stress but I want to punch him every time he says that. I think I have anger issues. I'm sure its no different than anyone else's life but right now, I'm a little overwhelmed but the chest pains have stopped....that's good, right?

Life List....

2006-09-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

I've watched the new season of the Ellen Degeneres show a couple of times this week and she has been talking a lot about "Life Lists". She had a gal on last year that had a list of items that she wanted to get done before she turned 40 and Ellen helped her cross off about15 of her items....from drinking Cristal champange to riding on the Orient express to owning a pair of Jimmy Choo's to being backstage at a Dave Matthew's concert...it was a fun show. Ellen had the girl on again yesterday and they talked about why she started her life list, in her case it was because she was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis as a child and has a short life expectancy...but this has spurred Ellen and many of her viewers to create these lists and also, throughout this season Ellen is going to help more people fulfill things on their lists.

ANYWAY, this got me thinking about my life and whether I have things that I want to accomplish that I haven't done so far. Ten years ago...getting married, having sex and having babies would have been on my list...been there, done that! So what is there now? Other than the obvious...raising children who love God and respect others...having a good marriage...I think it would be fun to have a detailed list of things that I would love to accomplish. I really want to go back to Europe someday...I want to take another cruise with my husband...I want to weight 140 someday.

I think somethimes that I get so caught up in the day to day ordeal of raising two young children that I forget about my own life and what I want to accomplish, if there is anything. So, I think I'm going to start a list. Maybe when I'm done I will post it, if its not too personal. Then I can keep you up to date with how I'm doing.

Anyone out there with a Life List of their own??

Fall into fall....or sprint into fall

2006-09-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

So, we're off and running with our fall...starting today. As I mentioned previously, we FINALLY found a pre-school for Will that we can actually afford, at least on paper. He's going to be in the Wallingford Co-op preschool, actually we're all joining the co-op since part of the "deal" is that one of the parents works one day per week, etc. What I am finding out is that there are many obligations with the Co-op situation. I start today by going to clean-up day at the school from 1-3:45, then tomorrow we have our new student orientation with Will's teacher, then next week on Tuesday we have the parent orientation where we all find out what we are and aren't supposed to do in the classroom...THEN, on Wednesday the "slow start" begins, some sort of staggered start so all of the kids aren't in the classroom at the same time to start, I guess so they don't overwhelm the teacher? Then, finally we actually start the next Monday...and from then on, either Mark or I will be working each Monday in the classroom.

But, beyond that, once a month I have to go to a class about early childhood education since, technically, I'm enrolled at N. Seattle Community College. (and will be getting a grade, by the way). Then there are the every-other-month social get togethers AND I have a committee position on the co-op board.

This is the funniest thing of all....not that this has been too funny so far....but, the committee position that I have been given is that of "Scrapbooker"...for those of you who know me, this is hilarious because I do not even have baby books for my children. I am supposed to take pictures randomly this year and at the various events and then put them together into some sort of yearbook, memory thing at the end of the year. Last year the person gave everyone a picture disk and even a movie to take home...the zoom doesn't even work on our digital camera! So, I'm pretty much screwed and destined to be the laughing stock of the co-op. But it was either that or a maintenance position which is even funnier...

I just have a feeling that these parents are going to be way more serious about all of this than I am. Its like the time that i brought strawberry yogurt for Lora for a snack at Boyer and was promptly told that kids that young weren't supposed to have strawberries...let alone the Princess Fruit Snacks and Smuckers Uncrustables that I also brought (promptly being told that peanut butter was also taboo) I just don't know or don't care as much about all of that...and, so far, my kids are still alive and eating popcicles at 9:30 AM...right now!

I think its my old High School insecurities coming out...the cool moms aren't going to like me, I'm too fat to fit in AND my husband's a pastor....talk about your conversation ender!

Then, Lora starts back to school next Monday...So, we have school all day mondays; Tuesday morning is "Souper Study" with the old people at chuch, which I make soup for, school in the afternoon; school and church on Wednesday; school Thursday, Mark, Lora and I are going to visit people on Thursday afternoons and then we have "Living Room" on Thursday evenings; and nothing on Fridays!!! Which is why today, we are all still in our pj's watching Barney at 9:45 just getting set for the craziness! Bring it on!

Little Miss Sunshine

2006-09-02T14:32:00.000-07:00

Last night, my husband and I went on a date. Yeah! We went and saw one of the best movies that I have seen in years, "Little Miss Sunshine". I would give it 5 out of 5 stars. Such a great, sweet, funny, moving film that tackles issues like drug use, suicide attempts, death, dissapointment in a way that is humerous and touching. The acting was incredible...no overacting or over-the-top antics, just sheer perfection. I will warn that there is liberal use of the "f" word and one scene that has some graphic talk regarding sex...that was for my mom, but well worth sitting through some language to experience this wonderful little movie. If you couldn't tell, I really liked the movie!

On another note, I didn't blog on Wednesday, but it was Will's 4th birthday! It is so amazing how grown up he is getting....he came out at 3:54 AM on 8/30/02, weighing all of 6 lbs 2 oz....and 19 inches long. Yes he was skinny....but cute, at least to me. He is so much fun, bright and funny. He had his first sleep-over on Tuesday night and then we went to Chuckie Cheese's on Wed, it wasn't as bad as I remember it and he had a blast. But today, he is saying that he doesn't want to be 4 anymore, he wants to be 3 again. There is so much pressure the older you get.

On another note, tomorrow is Mark's 44th birthday...We're having a little dinner for him with family and a few friends...Brisket Sandwiches and Strawberry Shortcake was his request...

Happy Birthday to both of my boys!!!

Monday Monday....

2006-08-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

I'm in a bad mood today...I have a headache, Lora woke up last night and didn't get back to sleept for a couple of hours...so, I took it out on my husband and we got in a big fight, ending with him taking the kids to the store. Which puts me in a dilemma...fight = me at home with no kids watching The People's Court and blogging. Not a bad equation. I probably still need to make up with my husband.....And I promise not to start using fights to get some time alone.

On a better note, we found a pre-school for Will. We joined the Wallingford Co-op preschool. It sounds like fun, it is less expensive than other preschools but one of us has to work one day a week. Which actually is nice because we are more involved that way. So, on Sept 18th, Will will start going to school Mon-Thurs from 1:0-3:45. I think he will love it! It will give him something more active to do and more kids to be friends with. And, we will meet more families in our community which is good too. I'm excited, just bracing myself for the busy Fall ahead.

Wednesday is Will's 4th birthday, time goes so fast. Partially because we are so busy......

Being Vegetarian, not so much...

2006-08-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

I was a vegetarian for two days this week. I went on a Detox diet. I cut out meat, sugar, coffee, refined flour and just about everything else except fruit, veggies, beans, milk, yogurt, a few grains and water. I added coffee back on the second day...I added meat back on the third, lean meat mind you, but meat nontheless. I was supposed to make it nine days! I'm such a wimp, but I have lost 9 pounds since Tuesday. I felt so tired and cranky and headachy. That could have been the caffeine...but I feel better now. I'm still eating really healthy, but having a little meat with dinner. I think its hard to be vegetarian if you don't like tofu and I don't like tofu.

I remember when I was in high school, on one of my many diets, my mom bought tofu and brought it home. She told me that it takes on the flavor of whatever you put with it. As if! She made me a strawberry milkshake with tofu in it, I could totally taste it...I think we may have even tried it in lasagna...gross. I don't care what anyone says, it has a weird taste and texture that I just can't get over. Mind you, I have many weird food issues but I just can't do it. So I don't. As such, I will probably never be vegetarian, that and the love of red meat thing......

On another note, I'm reading "The Nanny Diaries" and really like it. It is a fun brainless read. Just recently, I read "The Secret Life of Bees". That is a really good book too, I highly recommend it.

I'm going to try to post every day so, they may become more and more random, just a warning!

A Beautiful Day

2006-08-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

Hi, I know I'm a loser....I just haven't felt inspired to blog recently. Its been HOT here, I'm not a hot weather person. In fact, Mark and I were thinking the other day about the fact that we almost moved to Yuma, Arizona! We cannot believe that we ever even considered it. We both hate hot weather so much. It was when we were still living in Oklahoma...we were ready to get out there and start pastoring. We went and interviewed in Yuma, liked the people and the DS, get a unanimous vote from the board and decided to let the church vote on us. We waited our two weeks and then on Saturday night, before they were supposed to vote on Sunday, we got a call from the DS saying that the church had decided not to vote on us. Aparently, they had a faction in the church that didn't want a pastor, they wanted to save money and move the church out to the suburbs and then get a pastor. We were disappointed, but felt like it might not have been a good fit if they wanted to move out of the city, we love the city. And, in the meantime, we had received a call to come for an interview in California and we moved to the Bay Area not too long after that. San Francisco was definately a better fit for us. It all ALMOST makes me believe in providence!!

I was thinking about that yesterday as Mark and I and the kids went with our friend Lori on a ferry yesterday from West Seattle over to Southworth. It was a beautiful day, perfect really. Mt. Rainier was incredible - so clear. The Olympics were gorgeous. We drove up to one of our favorite little towns, Poulsbo. Drove back down to Gig Harbor and spent an hour or so with Mark's parents...it was wonderful and none of this could have been done in Yuma, Arizona. I think God does love me!

I'm Back....Again

2006-07-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

I just returned from a 10 day vacation in Colorado with my husband, my kids, my parents, my brother, his wife, their four kids and one miniature schnauzer....I know, sounds like a huge menagarie, and it was but it was also fun. We stayed in a beautiful house, overlooking picturesque Breckenridge. We played games, rode on alpine slides, bounced in bouncy houses, watched movies and ate good food. It was a lot of fun.

One of my favorite things that we did was a throw back to my childhood...we went to the world's largest natural hot springs swimming pool in Glenwood Springs. I grew up swimming in this pool and I love it. It is one of my favorite places in the world. Actually, my mom grew up going there, they passed it on to my brother and I and now we've passed it on to our kids. Sorry Debbie, you're wrong, its a beautiful place. :)

To get to the city of Glenwood Springs, you have to travel through this beautiful canyon, there are huge rocks on either side of the car with hidden waterfalls and wonderful colors. I used to call it the "block-long pool" when I was a kid because its huge. I have tons of memories from this place with my grandparents, parents and brother. From my first ride on a waterslide to Dad almost needing stitches from the same slide to "petunias" and just swimming until I was one big prune. It was fun to see my kids doing the same things that I did as a kid....They swam and swam and swam, they rode on their first waterslides, and even got a little sunburned and they loved every minute of it. We had to drag them out of there kicking and screaming and Will said he wanted to stay forever. Its just nice when a memory from your childhood turns out to be just as great as an adult.....

Thanks Mom and Dad for the great vacation! It was fantastic!

525,600 Minutes

2006-06-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

Yes, obviously, I watched Rent last night...I've never seen it before, shocking I know. I loved it. It is about a life very different from mine, or is it? Its about community, a community that loves each other and cares for each other no matter what. Its about a year in the character's lives and what transpires in that year.

One of the themes of the musical is "No Day But Today". I think its great to remember that we really only have today. We tend to get se bogged down in our past or so worried about our future that we miss today, this moment. I find myself, with two small children always living for bedtime or naptime instead of enjoying each moment I have with my children. My husband and I say, "won't it be fun when both of the kids are in school..." instead of enjoying today with all of its joy and sorrow....

So I leave you all with this....

"525,600 minutes, 525,600 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan. 525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man? In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried. In bridges he burned, or the way that she died. It's time now to sing out, tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love." Seasons of Love - Rent

Broken Pieces

2006-06-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

We did a really cool thing at church on Sunday. We are doing things a little differently this summer anyway, our services are more family oriented. We aren't having children's church and have geared the services to kids and adults alike. Its been really fun, we have been looking at different Old Testament passages in different ways. Then each week we have had an "expression" (or craft time to some) that we can all participate in that goes along with the passage we are looking at.

This week, we looked at the narrative on Ruth and Naomi. I had always heard this story from Ruth's point of view, but this week, we looked at it from Naomi's point. Naomi was, at one time, a wealthy wife with two sons and daughters in law. Her husband and both of her sons die and Naomi ends up a stranger in a strange land with her two daughters in law. One of her daughters goes back to her family but Ruth stays with her and they return to Naomi's homeland of Bethleham. Naomi returns a broken woman, no home, husband or money. Amazingly, Ruth falls in love with Boaz and they make a place for Naomi in their home...but we looked at her brokeness this week...the hard things in our lives that shake our faith or the tempations in our lives that we just can't get ahold of on our own.

We took ceramic tiles and wrote those hard things on the back, then we smashed the tiles and poured the pieces at the foot of the cross. We then took the pieces and made 4 mosaics that when put together, formed a cross. We are now going to take that cross and hang it in the front of our sanctuary as a wonderful reminder of what can be made with our lives when we give our brokeness to our wonderful, creative God.

It was a beautiful, meaningful service. Its amazing what can be made with broken pieces. It is amazing what God can make out of broken lives.

Its Just Hair

2006-06-22T11:13:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about compromise today. I've been married for 8 years to a wonderful man. He is patient and kind, funny and sweet, he is a great father...etc, etc, etc. We really only have one disagreement that comes up often, that subject is....my hair. I like my hair long, he likes it short. I know, I should be thankful that he likes it short because most men are obsessed with long hair. Short hair is easier to take care of, I'm sure its better for the environment or something, less product used.

In all fairness to my husband, I have worn my hair in a ponytail for the last 7 days straight. I tend to do that, so I can sort of see his point. Anyway, I have a haircut scheduled today at 2:00 so the delimma becomes, do I compromise and cut my hair short to please my husband OR do I leave it long, just get a little trim and continue down my ponytailed pathway???

I'm leaning towards compromise...because it is summertime and its getting hotter and a new style would be nice....but as my family can attest, I am just rebellious enough to not want to do it just because I know he wants me to...Isn't that mature? In all honesty I actually like my hair both ways so I don't know what I'm dragging my feet about. We'll see and I'll let you know tomorrow if my better nature wins out. Its just hair.

A Great Place to Start

2006-06-21T13:25:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling so tired and overwhelmed with life this week. We just seem so busy and have so many responsibilities and activities, not a lot of "down time". I was feeling sorry for myself and then I received an e-mail from a friend that I met through my mom's group. We have a group of moms that meet that all have kids who go to the same early childhood center. Its for mom's who all have children with some delay or disablility.

Anyway, my friend's 10 month old baby died about 7 weeks ago. Talk about wake-up call to me to not whine about my petty problems! She is doing okay, not great. She's Buddhist and she said the most beautiful thing that her priest has told them. He told them to remember their son as a teacher that was sent to them to remind them of the beauty and frailty of life. I thought it was a beautiful statement and actually I liked it better than some of the platitudes that I've heard fellow Christians spout to grieving people at funerals. God didn't need another flower for His garden in heaven....and God didn't take him in order to teach his parents a lesson. But God can use his life to teach them and others to appreciate life and to see beauty and value even in a life that only lasted 10 months and that during that short time was wrought with struggle...I think it is good to see the beauty in other religions and what they can teach us about our own faith.

Instead of being afraid of or divided by our differences...embrace what is similar and grow from there. I pray often for my friend, that she will find comfort in her religion and that through it she might come to a greater knowledge of God and how much He loves her. I think that's a great place to start.